Delicious Emily: Message in a Bottle

Delicious Emily: Message in a Bottle

Publisher:

GameHouse

Developer:

GameHouse

Platform:

PC

About:

Enjoy an amazing story while you cook divine dishes in Italian kitchens!

Review:

The story in this started out pretty dark. Delicious Emily: Hopes and Fears ended with a donkey and postman showing up saying that he had a letter. Well DE: Message in a Bottle opens thirty years ago when Emily was three and she was spending time with her grandfather. Her grandmother has recently passed away and he’s depressed. The first five levels are pretty fast but end with the grandfather giving a three year old a goodbye letter and sailing off into a horrible storm. I got definite suicidal undertones and was really surprised at the dark tone. Eventually, meaning at the very end after the main story ended, you discover that wasn’t his intention, he was just storming off like a child and sulked for thirty years.

In this story we get to see more of Emily’s father’s family. They aren’t very pleasant, even after they learn their lessons. They bring stubborn to a whole new level, which I can easily understand, but isn’t very sympathetic. They also seem to bring out the worst in Emily’s dad.

All and all, story wise, I enjoyed this much more than DE: Hopes and Fears.

Game play things were slightly changed. You did not have a diamond to get on every level, which made this game easier than the rest. I did feel like you had to work harder to unlock things, though, and so I still had nineteen hours in to beat and unlock all achievements. Thankfully, I kept track of all the items and I don’t have to replay the game to get the final achievement like I’ll have to do with Hopes and Fears.

Message in a Bottle was a nice installment to the series, it expanded the family and history, though, Emily was not a very big part of the story. It set up some potential conflict for the next installment, so we’ll see what happens and if the rest of the family ever shows up again.

4/5

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The Punisher (2017-?)

The Punisher (2017-?)

Network:

Netflix

Starring:

Jon Bernthal

Amber Rose Revah

Ebon Moss-Bachrach

Ben Barnes

Jaime Ray Newman

Daniel Webber

Deborah Ann Woll

Plot:

After the murder of his family, Marine veteran Frank Castle became a vigilante known as “The Punisher” with only one goal in mind, to avenge them.

Review:

The Punisher is an antihero that chooses to kill anyone he perceives as a bad guy. He starts off by going after the people that killed his family and it goes from there. He’s a ‘hero’ that when I was young I thought was super cool. Just bypass the system and take them out, but now that I’m older I just can’t get behind that method of justice, if the laws are broken then we need to fix them not just go around killing people. I guess I’m more Superman/Batman brand of justice and for whatever reason I can’t put that aside when I watch a Punisher that’s purposefully placed in a realistic environment.

I wasn’t planning on watching this series, after Iron Fist and Defenders I’ve almost given up on Marvel. Pair that with the fact that I just did not want to watch a show that tried to make me sympathize with a man like Frank Castle, Jon Bernthal, I had planned to sit it out. Next thing I know several friends are telling me I have to watch it, that it doesn’t try to make my empathize, that it does a great job of showing a different side of things, that it’s just the best thing ever and I broke.

One of the main complaints for the Marvel shows on Netflix is that thirteen episodes is too long. I personally didn’t feel that way with the first season of Daredevil or Jessica Jones and Luke Cage, because I really liked the characters and what was going on. I felt every minute of some of these episodes of The Punisher, though, and not in a good way. There was lots of dragging, lots of inactivity, and too much effort put into making The Punisher sympathetic.

The side story that followed Lewis Walcott, Daniel Webber, as he dealt with reintegrating into society was more interesting than The Punisher side for a while. I can see what they were trying to do, show a parallel between The Punisher and Lewis and how they reacted to trauma and coming home. However, they decided to push Lewis over the edge and then kept calling him a coward and trying to say that The Punisher was better. In the process they made Karen, Deborah Ann Woll, sound like an idiot because she refused to acknowledge the similarities.

David ‘Microchip’ Lieberman, Ebon Moss-Bachrach, was also another heavy handed parallel to The Punisher. He faked his own death and left his wife and two children alone to think he was dead. Naturally he spied on them with multiple cameras all over his old house. He was very willing to use The Punisher for a means to an end but acted like he was better than him. My main problem with Microchip, which has nothing to do with the story, is when he’s finally reunited with his wife, Jaime Ray Newman. After some time when she’s been understandably angry with him, they hook up in the bathroom. He finishes superfast, they laugh, he says he’s sorry, she says it’s okay, end scene. Why couldn’t they take two seconds to just show him slipping his hand down her panties? Why did he get to finish, but not her? Why couldn’t they have him saying he’d take care of her? Something? We’d already watched the whole awkward scene why did the wife get nothing?

Which brings me to my main complaint with the series, and something I already knew would be the case going in, but I was convinced it wouldn’t be this way by others. The Punisher is just male fantasy erotica, female fans of the Punisher get almost nothing from this series. Karen is made to be stupid. Dinah Madani, Amber Rose Revah, sleeps with a man she basically only originally talked to because he had connections to Castle and the criminal investigation she’s obsessed with, then of course develops some feelings for him, and is nearly killed by him. Microchip’s wife relies on her daughter for common household issues, then the Punisher as he comes along, and is just a damsel in distress. She at least protects her children as much as she can, but she allows her son to just walk all over her and kisses Castle because he’s of course the only man she’s come in close contact with since her husband has passed.

Tons of bullets flying, bad guys getting beat up, sex with hot women. I like action movies, but this was basically all my least favorite parts rolled up into one.

2/5

Side Note: I wasn’t able to pay 100% attention to this show, I just couldn’t, it would annoy me and I’d distract myself with something else while it played in the background.

Cliffhanger (1993)

Cliffhanger (1993)

Director:

Renny Harlin

Starring:

Sylvester Stallone

John Lithgow

Michael Rooker

Janine Turner

Caroline Goodall

Michelle Joyner

Plot:

A botched mid-air heist results in suitcases full of cash being searched for by various groups throughout the Rocky Mountains.

Review:

This movie was filmed at the height of Stallone’s career. His accent is almost nonexistent and acting wise it’s pretty good. It’s an older movie and not filled with the normal action I’ve come to expect from his films, but it makes sense considering his filmography, and there’s still certainly a number of butts kicked.

I liked the fact that he got his ass handed to him a time or two, even though he did come back and win, just because it made sense for his character. He was a mountain climber, not someone who fights for a living.

The opening scene is pretty intense and my fear of falling from great heights really had this scene freaking me out. I literally knew exactly what was going to happen but was still almost driven to tears while watching it.

After what happened Stallone’s character was understandably shaken and second guessed himself for a little bit, but he didn’t let it drag him down too long once shit started happening.

There were three female characters in the movie. One died immediately. Two were pilots, one was killed by the bad guy, her lover, to prove that he’d do anything. The third was Stallone’s love interest and other than flying the helicopter was fairly useless. She was sort of just there as his romantic partner. In fact all of the women were romantic partners. Interesting.

The movie was entertaining and Stallone was great.

3.5/5

Dynamite Review Best of 2017

Movies

1.      Thor: Ragnarok – I don’t get to watch new movies much as they come out, but I was so lucky to get to see this in theaters. It was AWESOME! I’ve already pre-ordered the steelbook from Best Buy, I got the theatrical poster off of Disney Movie Rewards and it’s framed and in my kids bathroom, and I can’t wait to watch it again and again.

2.     John Wick 2 – Great action movie and addition to the series. Awesome world, I’m interested in the Stars series that’s potentially coming out.

3.     Kingsman: The Golden Circle – In your face, over the top action.

4.     Guardians of the Galaxy 2 – While not as good as the previous one I loved so many things about this movie. The colors, the characters, the relationships. I’m so glad that this is part of the Marvel Universe.

5.     Spider-Man: Homecoming – I really enjoyed this movie but what’s potentially more important, my daughter loves this movie.

6.     Moana – This is more an honorable mention since it came out in 2016 not 2017. Love the music and the story, reminds me of the Disney I grew up with.

Books

1.      White Hot by Ilona Andrews – The long awaited sequel to Burn for Me, so good.

2.     Wildfire by Ilona Andrews – Love this series so much, want more. Wasn’t too happy with the ending, but still love.

3.     Paper Girls by Brian K. Vaughan – Beautiful art, interesting story, need some answers though. The only comic I pre-order.

4.     The Rosetta Man by Claire McCague – Picked this up randomly and I ended up loving it. So happy when that happens.

5.     Silence Fallen by Patricia Briggs – Not my favorite Patricia Briggs book, too many Doctor Who references, lots of other little things, but still a Patricia Briggs book so it’s going on the list!

6.     Heartstrikers Series by Rachel Aaron – This series didn’t come out last year, though they did have a book release that I haven’t read yet, but I had to put it on the list because I enjoyed it so much.

7.     The Guardians Trilogy by Nora Roberts – This is the kind of Nora Roberts series that I love. It didn’t come out in 2017, but after being wary of starting it because of her more recent books I got to it late.

TV Shows

1.      The Crown – I resisted watching this because I heard so much praise, but I’m glad I finally did. I destroyed the second season that recently aired and I honestly think it might be better than the first. Amazing show.

2.     Sense 8 – I love this idea so much and the second season wasn’t as slow as the first. The ending killed me and then when they canceled it, ugh, I never do TV show petitions but I signed them all. I canceled Netflix for the first time in years. I was furious. I’m hoping that the movie will be able to wrap things up but I seriously don’t see how that’s possible. I’ll probably never keep Netflix running continuously because of how they did this show.

3.     The Good Place – I had no desire to watch this last year, it just didn’t seem that funny to me. I ended up having the end of season one spoiled for me and that changed everything. I was able to binge the first season on Netflix and I’ve watched every episode of the second as it’s aired. So freaking funny.

4.     The Orville – Wow, I had no expectations for this show. I had hopes, but because of Seth MacFarlane I didn’t have many. I was certainly surprised and this has ended up being one of my favorite shows of the year. It’s like getting new episodes of Star Trek, only instead of the Enterprise team we’ve got the D tier crew. The jokes don’t always land and they’re reusing a lot of Star Trek plots, but I don’t care. I’m so glad that this has been picked up for a second season and I’m hoping that they continue to find their footing.

5.     Future Man – Loved this, it was so crude and hilarious and just came out of nowhere. Time travel, video games, the 80s, James Cameron’s AI, a terrible future, so many things that add up to funny. So glad we’re getting a second season.

6.     Legion – This is not my usual type of show. It’s wild and out there and very trippy. The only reason I watched it was because I needed something to keep me up during late night feedings and I ended up staying up just to finish episodes. Half the time I’m not sure what’s going on, but I honestly didn’t care. They gave just enough answers not to drive me crazy, but still left me needing to know more.

7.     Black-ish – I just discovered Black-ish this year and thank goodness Hulu has all of the episodes. Most episodes are nice, funny episodes, but the episodes that aren’t, the episodes where they “teach” you something are so good. This year there was one about postpartum depression that really resonated with me.

8.     Life in Pieces – I laugh in every single episode of this show. Love it.

9.     The Librarians – The third season was probably the weakest so far and I’m not overly thrilled with all that’s going on in the fourth season but I seriously can’t think of anything that would have me stop watching this.

 

Games

1.      Splatoon 2 (Switch) This was hands down my favorite game of the year. In an alternate universe I went pro, built a brand, and lived the life of the rich and famous.

2.     Stardew Valley (Switch) After putting in 160 hours on the PC version you’d think I’d be done with this game, but nope. As soon as it came out on the Switch I bought it and started all over again. Aided by the amazing guide my husband bought me for Christmas 2016 I’ve been chipping away at all the in game achievements.

3.     Lego City Undercover (Switch) I beat this once, then got halfway through beating it again before Splatoon 2 came out. I still plan on going back and working on unlocking everything, though, it’s not a priority because I certainly got my money out of this.

4.     Delicious Emily Home Sweet Home (PC) Really liked the story in this one, young married couple with a little kid get their dream house and fix it up. If I was crazy and didn’t mind construction around toddlers I could totally do this too.

5.     Horizon Zero Dawn (PS4) I’m stretching things a bit including this to my list. I got it for Christmas after trying it out at Red Box and finding it interesting enough to try more. I didn’t start playing it until December 31st and at this point I’m only a couple hours in, however, I love the idea a lot. I love that she’s a real looking woman and she’s kicking ass. So far they haven’t put her in super revealing clothes which is nice too. The world is interesting, however, I wish I didn’t have to use a bow and arrow. If I ever beat it, or put a significant amount of time in I’ll write a review.

Godless (2017-?)

Godless (2017)

Network:

Netflix

Starring:

Jack O’Connell

Michelle Dockery

Scoot McNairy

Merritt Wever

Jeff Daniels

Thomas Brodie-Sangster

Plot:

Frank Griffin, an outlaw terrorizing the 1880s American West, hunts down Roy Goode, his partner turned enemy. Roy hides out at a ranch as Frank’s chase leads him to La Belle, New Mexico – a town mysteriously made up almost entirely of women.

Review:

I canceled Netflix in 2017 because they canceled Sense 8 and I was pissed. At the end of October when I saw the trailer for Godless I decided I’d resubscribe. It looked incredible, it was a western where women were kicking butt. A whole town filled with women who’d lost their husbands tragically but were able to take care of business. It was everything I’d ever wanted.

Then the second trailer hit and I grew concerned. On November 22nd when it launched I wasn’t at home so I wasn’t able to watch and as impressions started to roll in I became incredibly disappointed.

I’m not sure who in the Netflix marketing department thought it would be a good idea to paint the series out to be something it wasn’t but I hope they had a stern talking too. I thought I was going to get a western where men were the bystanders and women took the wheel and settled shit. I understand that’s not what the creator ever intended and I feel kind of bad for him since that’s what a lot of people expected, but I’m also pissed. I would have watched the stupid thing if it was just a normal western, why did they have to go and raise my hopes with that amazing trailer?

It took me a while to work my way to watching Godless, then it took me a while to make my way through the seven episodes, and I know I didn’t give it a fair chance, but I don’t care. I enjoy westerns and this was certainly one of them. It was beautifully shot and the female characters were pretty awesome and diverse, but they barely had any screen time and they were still taken advantage of and weak.

There was no need to make this a miniseries, it was needlessly long and filled with unnecessary flashbacks. It took whole episodes to cover what could have been covered with a few words. It was boring and filled with longing glances. Most of the best scenes were in the last episode and you could almost skip everything and just watch that if you wanted.

The women ended up doing all the heavy lifting but it only followed them when there was a chance at nudity or a lesbian relationship. Merritt Wever’s character was so perfect and I wish we’d had more of her. Instead we spent most of our time following four men live out a story that has already been told a million times.

I know I’m being harsh, maybe even too harsh, but I saw a glimpse of what could have been and I can’t forget it.

2/5