Marry Me For Christmas (2013)

Marry Me For Christmas (2013)

Director:

Roger Melvin

Starring:

Victoria Rowell

Malinda Williams

Karon Riley

Plot:

To appease her family during the holidays, a single woman pretends to be engaged to her employee.

Review:

I like that this movie has sequels, more of these types should. It’s very family focused and a bit light on the romance. The tried and true trope of pretend engagement, is always a favorite though this one didn’t play out very realistically. There was not much affection between the two, though, they tried to imply that it was supposed to develop because the guy was trying to take her business. What’s awesome, though, is that they embraced that and the family realized what was going on.

Painfully sung Christmas carols, check. Oh my goodness, I had to mute it, it hurt so bad. It was intentional so don’t feel bad.

Overbearing family that means well and are all pretty nice, check.

Overheard conversations, check.

Multiple marriage proposals, check.

4/5

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El Camino Christmas (2017)

El Camino Christmas (2017)

Netflix Original

Director:

David E. Talbert

Starring:

Vincent D’Onofrio

Tim Allen

Jessica Alba

Plot:

The project, scripted by Melfi and writer Chris Wehner, is about a young man (Grimes) who seeks out a father he has never met and, through no fault of his own, ends up barricaded in a liquor store with five other people on Christmas Eve. The story takes place in the fictitious town of El Camino, NV.

Review:

Giant cluster fuck the movie. Everything that can go wrong basically does but it’s not funny in the slightest. So if that’s what you want this holiday season, a shootout in a gas station liquor store, involving incompetent cops, and a whole lot of booze then this is the movie for you.

It was depressing.

Tim Allen seemed to be phoning it in, though everyone else was pretty good. Vincent D’Onofrio did a bit of overacting, well maybe not, his character was a fucking asshole and a drunk so who knows. Ending was not very satisfying, though, I appreciated the epilogue. It was not a happy Christmas movie.

2/5

How Sarah Got Her Wings (2015)

How Sarah Got Her Wings (2015)

Director:

Edmund Entin

Gary Entin

Starring:

Lindsey Gort

Derek Theler

Melanie Liburd

Plot:

Good Samaritan Sarah Fitzpatrick has a fatal accident just before Christmas, and finds herself in the lobby before the gates of Heaven. Certain that she will be let in, she is shocked to find that her name is not on the reservation list. However, she is granted the chance to return to Earth as an “angel in training” with the requirement to help a soul in need. Sarah has the 12 days before Christmas to secure her place on the list leaving her in the race for her after-life.

Review:

Angels, check.

Second chances, check.

Ridiculously hot guy, check.

Sarah gets hit by a bus and discovers that she can’t get into heaven because she has unfinished business. She’s pretty one note and believes she knows what’s going on and doesn’t look deeper. Everything works out in the end, though she doesn’t end up with the ridiculously hot guy which was kind of disappointing.

3/5

Side Note: Confession time!

Alright, so there’s a TV show called Baby Daddy that is really stupid, but I’ve watched almost two seasons just because Derek Theler is so pretty and that’s why I watched this movie. I’m so shallow.

Married by Christmas (2016)

Married by Christmas (2016)

Director:

Letia Clouston

Starting:

April Bowlby

Jes Macallan

James Eckhouse

Plot:

A high level executive must find herself a husband before Christmas in order to inherit a fortune.

Review:

So talk about a lovely setup. Grandmother is sexist and doesn’t believe women should run companies so she writes it into the will that once one of her granddaughters marries their husband will own the family company. Our lead female character, who has dedicated the past seven years to the company, is not the one getting married first, instead her flighty, pretentious sister is marrying an organic farmer with some ideas.

I liked that our female lead loved Christmas and family but was just focused on her career. I did think her parents and sister were stupid. I liked that it didn’t end with her getting married or even falling in love, the possibility was just there. Everything was resolved but there was actually room for a sequel if they wanted to do that.

Phenomenal sugar cookies, check.

Boyfriend that turns out to be gay, check.

Unexpected resolution, check.

The movie had a lot going for it, but the pacing was really off. It sped up some things and dragged at others enough for me to knock it down a star.

3/5

My Santa (2013)

My Santa (2013)

Director:

Sam Irvin

Starring:

Samaire Armstrong

Matthew Lawrence

Julie Brown

Plot:

Single mom Jen Robbins, who is a writer of human interest stories for the newspaper in the small town where she has lived all her life, lost the Christmas spirit ever since her ex-husband split.

Review:

So what do we have here, a Christmas movie where the male lead is super young looking. It’s actually kind of weird cause he looks young twenties and the female lead looks early thirties. However, I looked it up and he’s 33 and she is too. Life is really not fair, he should not look that young.

Love triangle, check.

Scrooge, mommy is not in on the Christmas spirit, check.

Jim O’Heir (Jerry from Parks and Rec), I feel like he should be added to the check list because he’s been in a couple so far, check.

Bad acting, check.

Super-fast romance, check.

It was alright, could have done with a bit more. The whole Santa’s kid thing was cool, but the main focus wasn’t that, it was the mom regaining the joy of Christmas, they did a good job with that though.

3/5