Using the classic prompt “It was a dark and stormy night” one night this came out. Once again, I thought it was hilarious, so I had to share. Like everything, this has not been edited so I apologize for any errors.

I hope you enjoy!

 

It was a dark and stormy night…

Starring at her computer screen the beautiful naked woman with breasts like perfectly sculpted globes bit her lip in concern. Nervously, pushing back her beach waved blond hair she wondered if she should tell someone about the nasty person online threatening to murder her.

“Bunny, are you alright? You seem scared about something.”

Bunny’s roommate Veronica walked into the room, her short cut raven locks barely brushing her sharp jaw. Naked as well Veronica leaned on the back of Bunny’s chair and read the computer screen.

“Oh my god Bunny you should call the police. No one should say that to you, to anyone.”

Pushing away Bunny stood up, her breasts swaying as she moved, “What can anyone do Veronica? People can say anything on the internet. I just don’t think…”

Her words trailed off and she trembled, goose bumps popping up on her arms she rubbed them together. Veronica crossed the room and pulled her into a tight embrace as she tried to comfort her distraught friend. Their naked flesh quickly warmed up as the two women rubbed against each other.

“What’s going on in here?”

Veronica continued to hold Bunny as Mack entered the room. Bunny no longer had goose bumps but it was clear she still needed comfort.

“It’s nothing Mack, just some loser online sending me death threats. Saying they’re going to murder me. All because I said that Bowsette was the hottest thing created by Nintendo and that Gritty should get bent.”

Mack’s enormous penis swayed between his legs as he walked over to the computer, because he too was of course naked. Moving the mouse he quickly closed the open window and said, “Those people wouldn’t know a good thing if it fucked them up the ass. Why don’t you both come downstairs and eat, I made everyone’s favorite. I also cleaned the kitchen and vacuumed the floors.”

“Mack you’re so wonderful, I don’t know what we’d ever do without someone so as amazing as you taking care of us. When I’m at work helping put criminals away and while Veronica is performing brain surgery, it’s such a comfort knowing that you’re at home making sure everything is perfect.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Filing out of the room behind Mack and his truly ginormous dick, Bunny continued, “You know, I think the only way for me to forget the horrible things those awful people online said, is if we all get high and have sex.”

Sitting down at the dining room table where Mack had laid out a glorious low calorie feast that tasted amazing Veronica said, “That sounds perfect Bunny. I was meaning to tell you that your breasts look amazing in this candlelight and Mack did you do something to your pubes because I can’t believe how positively gobble worthy your dick looks.”

“Thank you for noticing Veronica, you’re always so observant.”

The three ate dinner, had sex, and the next day went about their business, not knowing that Bunny had well and truly fucked up with her Gritty statement. Sitting in his darkened one room loft, fully clothed, and fuming Kale Breckin plotted his revenge.

“That bitch has no idea what she’s talking about.”

“What was that sweetie?”

“Nothing, I was just talking about something at work. Why isn’t this place clean? We live in a one room loft and you can’t keep it clean?”

“I’m really sorry honey, I’ll try and do better.”

“You’ll try, you’ll try—”

Kale cut himself off because he didn’t need the police called again, not after the last time. Fuming he ate what she’d prepared for him and made sure she understood just how lucky she was to have him and that she should learn how to cook and take better care of herself.

With dinner over he went back to his computer and checked the bot he’d left running. It had found the address of the idiot bad mouthing Gritty and through the luckiest of strokes she lived in the same city he did. As his wife cleaned up what she already should have cleaned up Kale made his plans.

First, he was going to need a weapon. A quick search of gun laws had him cursing waiting periods and wishing he lived somewhere near a gun show. This is why people have to get out and vote, snowflakes get into office and next thing you know you can’t go out and buy a gun whenever you want. That was alright, though, he was creative, he was smart, he could use a baseball bat wrapped in razor wire. No one had ever thought of that before.

Hours passed and he heard his wife snoring on the bed. Cursing the fact that they never had sex anymore Kale pulled up his favorite porn site and started furiously masturbating, his tiny penis dribbling out cum in minutes.

Relaxed and content with his plan Kale shut down his computer and went to sleep with a smile on his face.

The next evening…

“Bunny what are you doing on that website again? I thought you said you’d never go there again?”

Looking over her shoulder at Veronica’s pert little breasts with their nipples pointing straight up, Bunny said, “I know, I know, it’s just habit. I’ll stop going, but I just got a private message from that horrible person that sent me death threats over Gritty.”

“You shouldn’t read it Bunny, just ignore it and come downstairs with me and Mack. We’ll help you forget about that stupid site.”

“I’ll be down in a minute, it’s just really weird he says he’s inside my house.”

Laughing Veronica said, “Sounds like not only does he have bad taste but he’s watched one too many horror movies.”

A loud thump and then screaming drowned out Bunny’s reply. The two women looked at each other in terror and then at the computer screen. Another thump and male scream had them springing into action. Not taking a moment to put clothes on they both charged down the stairs to see what was happening.

Lying in a puddle of blood lay the naked glorious body of Mack. The slight rise of his chest told them he was still alive, but for how long? There was so much blood, splattered on the walls, under his beautiful golden body, pooling under his sandy colored curls.

“Mack, oh my god, are you alright?”

Bunny ran for him and that’s when Kale moved forward. The bat was cocked back and he swung. Veronica saw the blow as if it was in slow motion, she barely pulled Bunny back in time. Screaming the two women ran back up the stairs.

“I’m coming for you bitches! No one bad mouths Gritty in my city!”

The two naked women rushed into their bedroom, slamming the door shut. Bunny ran for the phone and Veronica started pulling things in front of the door, but nothing was heavy enough and Bunny was having issues with 911 since she was calling from a cell phone.

“Oh my god we’re going to die!”

The sounds of wood splintering as Kale’s bat beat against the door backed up Veronica’s words.

“What should we do?”

Dropping the phone, Bunny ran up to Veronica and wrapped her arms around the woman. They were going to die, there was nothing they could do to stop the mad man coming through the door. She never should have said anything on the internet ever.

Clutching her arm Veronica wished she’d had more sex with Bunny so that she couldn’t have spent any time on the internet.

A large hole appeared as Kale’s bat finally broke through, his face was twisted into a mask of deranged rage and the two women screamed again. Desperate, Veronica pulled away from Bunny and tried to find something to defend them with, seeing what her friend was doing Bunny started searching too.

Pulling open draws of lube, strap-ons, cock rings, vibrators, edible underwear, and more she pulled out the mold of Mack’s dick they’d made. Holding it like a bat Bunny glanced over to see that Veronica was holding a large bottle of massage oil and a box of matches.

“I’m coming for you bitches!”

Pushing through the door Kale rushed forward only to be shot with a face full sweet smelling oil. Grabbing his face as the oil burned his eyes Bunny took her opportunity and clocked him hard against the head with her rubber penis.

“Move Bunny!”

Jumping back just in time Bunny saw the lit match land on Kale. A whoosh sounded as flames engulfed his body. He screamed and jumped up, running around the room, trying to put himself out but spreading the fire in the process. Bunny and Veronica fled back downstairs, black smoke following closely behind them as the fire spread.

In their entry way, Mack still lay unconscious. Rushing to him Veronica checked his pulse and let out a relieved sigh to see that he was still alive.

“His pulse is weak but if we can get him to a hospital and get a blood transfusion he’ll be fine.”

“Not so fast you Bowsette loving whore!”

Standing at the top of the stairs Kale stood, his clothes scorched, and his entire body covered in ash and blackened burns. Flames crept behind him, spreading down the hallway and to the stairs.

Bunny screamed, “Why won’t you die?!?”

“I’ve got unfinished business.”

Too wounded to do anymore rushing Kale carefully plodded down the stairs toward the women and their fallen man.

Mack’s head in her lap Veronica looked around desperately for anything she could use to defend them but there was nothing. The room was bare, they hadn’t yet figured out how to decorate it. They lived in a warm climate there wasn’t much need for coats so a coatrack didn’t make sense. They came in from the garage so a table to put keys didn’t either.

Bunny ran.

Veronica looked on in horror as Kale came closer and closer. She was trapped under the bloody head of Mack, her doctor’s oath to do no harm trapping her from leaving him behind. Positive she was about to die and wishing one last time she could feel the hands of her lovers all over her supple nubile flesh, Bunny raced in.

Hockey stick in hand Bunny took aim and swung screaming, “Get the hell away from my sexual partners you Gritty loving freak!!”

Her aim true the hockey stick connected and Kale’s head went flying. His body collapsed, the razer covered bat falling beside him.

Sobbing Bunny dropped the hockey stick and fell to her knees beside Veronica and Mack. As the police, firemen, and EMTs started pouring in, covering everyone with blankets and rushing Mack to the hospital Bunny and Veronica watched as their love nest was engulfed in flames. Standing there, watching as their home burned to the ground, and rugged well-built fireman worked hard to put it out, Veronica said, “I hope you learned your lesson Bunny. Never argue with people online when you could be having sex, smoking pot, or eating delicious food instead.”

“You’re right Veronica. Sometimes, I have to learn lessons the hard way.”