Fan Fiction

Fiction Friday

Using the classic prompt “It was a dark and stormy night” one night this came out. Once again, I thought it was hilarious, so I had to share. Like everything, this has not been edited so I apologize for any errors.

I hope you enjoy!


It was a dark and stormy night…

Starring at her computer screen the beautiful naked woman with breasts like perfectly sculpted globes bit her lip in concern. Nervously, pushing back her beach waved blond hair she wondered if she should tell someone about the nasty person online threatening to murder her.

“Bunny, are you alright? You seem scared about something.”

Bunny’s roommate Veronica walked into the room, her short cut raven locks barely brushing her sharp jaw. Naked as well Veronica leaned on the back of Bunny’s chair and read the computer screen.

“Oh my god Bunny you should call the police. No one should say that to you, to anyone.”

Pushing away Bunny stood up, her breasts swaying as she moved, “What can anyone do Veronica? People can say anything on the internet. I just don’t think…”

Her words trailed off and she trembled, goose bumps popping up on her arms she rubbed them together. Veronica crossed the room and pulled her into a tight embrace as she tried to comfort her distraught friend. Their naked flesh quickly warmed up as the two women rubbed against each other.

“What’s going on in here?”

Veronica continued to hold Bunny as Mack entered the room. Bunny no longer had goose bumps but it was clear she still needed comfort.

“It’s nothing Mack, just some loser online sending me death threats. Saying they’re going to murder me. All because I said that Bowsette was the hottest thing created by Nintendo and that Gritty should get bent.”

Mack’s enormous penis swayed between his legs as he walked over to the computer, because he too was of course naked. Moving the mouse he quickly closed the open window and said, “Those people wouldn’t know a good thing if it fucked them up the ass. Why don’t you both come downstairs and eat, I made everyone’s favorite. I also cleaned the kitchen and vacuumed the floors.”

“Mack you’re so wonderful, I don’t know what we’d ever do without someone so as amazing as you taking care of us. When I’m at work helping put criminals away and while Veronica is performing brain surgery, it’s such a comfort knowing that you’re at home making sure everything is perfect.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Filing out of the room behind Mack and his truly ginormous dick, Bunny continued, “You know, I think the only way for me to forget the horrible things those awful people online said, is if we all get high and have sex.”

Sitting down at the dining room table where Mack had laid out a glorious low calorie feast that tasted amazing Veronica said, “That sounds perfect Bunny. I was meaning to tell you that your breasts look amazing in this candlelight and Mack did you do something to your pubes because I can’t believe how positively gobble worthy your dick looks.”

“Thank you for noticing Veronica, you’re always so observant.”

The three ate dinner, had sex, and the next day went about their business, not knowing that Bunny had well and truly fucked up with her Gritty statement. Sitting in his darkened one room loft, fully clothed, and fuming Kale Breckin plotted his revenge.

“That bitch has no idea what she’s talking about.”

“What was that sweetie?”

“Nothing, I was just talking about something at work. Why isn’t this place clean? We live in a one room loft and you can’t keep it clean?”

“I’m really sorry honey, I’ll try and do better.”

“You’ll try, you’ll try—”

Kale cut himself off because he didn’t need the police called again, not after the last time. Fuming he ate what she’d prepared for him and made sure she understood just how lucky she was to have him and that she should learn how to cook and take better care of herself.

With dinner over he went back to his computer and checked the bot he’d left running. It had found the address of the idiot bad mouthing Gritty and through the luckiest of strokes she lived in the same city he did. As his wife cleaned up what she already should have cleaned up Kale made his plans.

First, he was going to need a weapon. A quick search of gun laws had him cursing waiting periods and wishing he lived somewhere near a gun show. This is why people have to get out and vote, snowflakes get into office and next thing you know you can’t go out and buy a gun whenever you want. That was alright, though, he was creative, he was smart, he could use a baseball bat wrapped in razor wire. No one had ever thought of that before.

Hours passed and he heard his wife snoring on the bed. Cursing the fact that they never had sex anymore Kale pulled up his favorite porn site and started furiously masturbating, his tiny penis dribbling out cum in minutes.

Relaxed and content with his plan Kale shut down his computer and went to sleep with a smile on his face.

The next evening…

“Bunny what are you doing on that website again? I thought you said you’d never go there again?”

Looking over her shoulder at Veronica’s pert little breasts with their nipples pointing straight up, Bunny said, “I know, I know, it’s just habit. I’ll stop going, but I just got a private message from that horrible person that sent me death threats over Gritty.”

“You shouldn’t read it Bunny, just ignore it and come downstairs with me and Mack. We’ll help you forget about that stupid site.”

“I’ll be down in a minute, it’s just really weird he says he’s inside my house.”

Laughing Veronica said, “Sounds like not only does he have bad taste but he’s watched one too many horror movies.”

A loud thump and then screaming drowned out Bunny’s reply. The two women looked at each other in terror and then at the computer screen. Another thump and male scream had them springing into action. Not taking a moment to put clothes on they both charged down the stairs to see what was happening.

Lying in a puddle of blood lay the naked glorious body of Mack. The slight rise of his chest told them he was still alive, but for how long? There was so much blood, splattered on the walls, under his beautiful golden body, pooling under his sandy colored curls.

“Mack, oh my god, are you alright?”

Bunny ran for him and that’s when Kale moved forward. The bat was cocked back and he swung. Veronica saw the blow as if it was in slow motion, she barely pulled Bunny back in time. Screaming the two women ran back up the stairs.

“I’m coming for you bitches! No one bad mouths Gritty in my city!”

The two naked women rushed into their bedroom, slamming the door shut. Bunny ran for the phone and Veronica started pulling things in front of the door, but nothing was heavy enough and Bunny was having issues with 911 since she was calling from a cell phone.

“Oh my god we’re going to die!”

The sounds of wood splintering as Kale’s bat beat against the door backed up Veronica’s words.

“What should we do?”

Dropping the phone, Bunny ran up to Veronica and wrapped her arms around the woman. They were going to die, there was nothing they could do to stop the mad man coming through the door. She never should have said anything on the internet ever.

Clutching her arm Veronica wished she’d had more sex with Bunny so that she couldn’t have spent any time on the internet.

A large hole appeared as Kale’s bat finally broke through, his face was twisted into a mask of deranged rage and the two women screamed again. Desperate, Veronica pulled away from Bunny and tried to find something to defend them with, seeing what her friend was doing Bunny started searching too.

Pulling open draws of lube, strap-ons, cock rings, vibrators, edible underwear, and more she pulled out the mold of Mack’s dick they’d made. Holding it like a bat Bunny glanced over to see that Veronica was holding a large bottle of massage oil and a box of matches.

“I’m coming for you bitches!”

Pushing through the door Kale rushed forward only to be shot with a face full sweet smelling oil. Grabbing his face as the oil burned his eyes Bunny took her opportunity and clocked him hard against the head with her rubber penis.

“Move Bunny!”

Jumping back just in time Bunny saw the lit match land on Kale. A whoosh sounded as flames engulfed his body. He screamed and jumped up, running around the room, trying to put himself out but spreading the fire in the process. Bunny and Veronica fled back downstairs, black smoke following closely behind them as the fire spread.

In their entry way, Mack still lay unconscious. Rushing to him Veronica checked his pulse and let out a relieved sigh to see that he was still alive.

“His pulse is weak but if we can get him to a hospital and get a blood transfusion he’ll be fine.”

“Not so fast you Bowsette loving whore!”

Standing at the top of the stairs Kale stood, his clothes scorched, and his entire body covered in ash and blackened burns. Flames crept behind him, spreading down the hallway and to the stairs.

Bunny screamed, “Why won’t you die?!?”

“I’ve got unfinished business.”

Too wounded to do anymore rushing Kale carefully plodded down the stairs toward the women and their fallen man.

Mack’s head in her lap Veronica looked around desperately for anything she could use to defend them but there was nothing. The room was bare, they hadn’t yet figured out how to decorate it. They lived in a warm climate there wasn’t much need for coats so a coatrack didn’t make sense. They came in from the garage so a table to put keys didn’t either.

Bunny ran.

Veronica looked on in horror as Kale came closer and closer. She was trapped under the bloody head of Mack, her doctor’s oath to do no harm trapping her from leaving him behind. Positive she was about to die and wishing one last time she could feel the hands of her lovers all over her supple nubile flesh, Bunny raced in.

Hockey stick in hand Bunny took aim and swung screaming, “Get the hell away from my sexual partners you Gritty loving freak!!”

Her aim true the hockey stick connected and Kale’s head went flying. His body collapsed, the razer covered bat falling beside him.

Sobbing Bunny dropped the hockey stick and fell to her knees beside Veronica and Mack. As the police, firemen, and EMTs started pouring in, covering everyone with blankets and rushing Mack to the hospital Bunny and Veronica watched as their love nest was engulfed in flames. Standing there, watching as their home burned to the ground, and rugged well-built fireman worked hard to put it out, Veronica said, “I hope you learned your lesson Bunny. Never argue with people online when you could be having sex, smoking pot, or eating delicious food instead.”

“You’re right Veronica. Sometimes, I have to learn lessons the hard way.”

Friday Fiction

I have some flash fiction and fan fiction collecting dust on my computer. Not much, and I realize this is a review site, but the few that I actually like I’m going to post here. Just so everything is all in one space.

Today’s post was written late one night with the urging and advice of a few friends. It is not my usual fair, but I find it incredibly amusing. I hope you do as well!

Flash Symbol

The Flash in the Pan

The Flash was running, because that’s what he did. He ran. Fast. All over the place. He was good at it, he liked it, running was his jam. That and solving crime in Central City. Solving crime and running, what more could a superhero ask for?

Sex. He wanted sex. Lots of sex. All the sex. Sex that lasted. Sex with women. Sex with men. He wasn’t picky, he just wanted it all, and right now.

Running into Star Labs, papers that were somehow still plastered to the walls flew off. How there was still paper anywhere in the place not weighted down by paper weights he didn’t know and didn’t care cause he wasn’t cleaning it up.

“Barry, where the fuck have you been?” Cisco was unusually angry. Normally he was so chill, but his hair was wild and his eyes were thirsty.

Pushing his cowl back Barry decided why not, Iris wasn’t talking to him for some reason. Felicity was busy hacking something with a computer. Caitlin was a bit too cold for his tastes currently, though, he was pretty sure he could warm her up. Cisco wasn’t looking half bad and he was horny.

“I’ve been running Cisco where have you been?” He took a step toward him letting the hunger show in his eyes.

Cisco’s mouth went dry and he swallowed as fantasies he’d never allowed himself to dream began flitting through his mind.

“Barry, what are you doing?”

“Cisco, why are you asking so many questions?”

“Um, this is, I mean there’s a…” he trailed off as Barry moved closer unzipping his suit as he approached, exposing his hairless chest and glistening abs and stopping just short of the money shot.

“I’ll tell you what there is Cisco, there’s you and me, there’s that giant frying pan in the corner, and there’s fucking. How about it?”

Cisco’s eyes nearly rolled back in his head at the mere prospect of that kind of pleasure. Iris wasn’t exactly quiet when she and Barry went at it, and everyone, by this point, knew that he was a god damn Adonis in bed, if her ear drum shattering screams were any indication.

Shaking, his body already begging for what was about to happen, Cisco said, “Yes Barry, I’ve waited so long for this, yes a million times.”

Permission received Barry ran the few feet to Cisco, picked him up, and ran to the pan. Then they fucked like the world was ending and they didn’t care.

Nintendo: Peach FanFic

In honor of Super Smash Bros Ultimate coming out last week and proceeding to completely dominate all of my time I wrote a fanfic. I’ve always loved Nintendo and wanted a dedicated Peach game forever (Super Princess Peach the PMS game does not count). Since I don’t have one, I thought I’d write a prompt for Nintendo to go off of, you know, in case they want too. 😉


So without further to do, here is my Princess Peach fanfic in all of it’s unedited glory!


Princess Peach


The normally soft spoken and demure Princess Peach screamed the two words causing Mario and Bowser to stop their arguing and look at her in surprise. Daisy and Rosalina exchanged hopeful glances. The Toads continued to cower where they had chosen to hide. The Koopalings looked to their father in concern.

Hands at her sides, looking as calm and cool as usual, not a hair out of place, her beautiful full skirted dress in perfect condition, Peach glided up to stand between them.

Looking up at Bowser, fire in her eyes as she spoke, Peach said, “I have tried to unite our two kingdoms, at least bring them to a point of peace. Time and time again you have undermined that goal by either kidnapping me, conning me, or both. I am finished. I had hoped that we could be friends, that we could rule our respective kingdoms in peace. I have forgiven your actions time and time again, but no more. I will not now or ever marry you. I do not love you and I will only ever marry for love.”

Looking smug Mario shot the furious Bowser a look of superiority. Catching that look Peach’s eyes narrowed as she glided up to Mario.

Looking down at him she said, “You are the hero of Mushroom Kingdom. You have saved me when I’ve asked. Done so much for our Kingdom and I will forever appreciate all you’ve done. However, that does not mean that I owe you my hand in marriage. I know next to nothing about you. Yes you will fight for those weaker than you, using your power for good, but you have been properly awarded and my life is not part of your prize.”

Mario appeared ashamed and his head dropped. Happy to see his enemy also thwarted Bowser grinned puffing out his chest and shooting his children a mischievous glance.

Gliding back from them Peach made sure she had their full attention before she continued.

“For decades my life has been in constant dishevel because of your feud. When I was young, I admit, I was somewhat flattered over your fighting. Two strong, intelligent men, who both wanted me. However, I have had enough. This has gone past little flirtatious games. You have disrupted my life to the point where I have no idea who I am any more.

“I refuse to be a prize that people are fought over!”

Taking a moment to calm down Peach eyed Mario and Bowser to make sure they were actually listening to her. She’d had versions of this conversation before, but she knew it was different this time. She needed to make sure they understood that too.

“I have seen many worlds. I have played many games. I have enjoyed a lot of what my life is, but I need to figure out what my future holds. I need to discover what it is to be me, without either of you interfering.”

Taking a deep breath Peach looked at Daisy with a questioning look. Daisy smiled at her twin and gave her an encouraging nod and confidence flooded Peach.

Turning back to the men in front of her, both looking confused, she ended her assertion with a declaration of intent, “I am taking a break. I need time away from both of you. Time where you aren’t chasing after me, kidnapping me, demanding that I pay you your moons or whatever currency you want, or all the other things that you both do. If you don’t heed my words, if you try to continue your usual games, I will…”

Her words trailed off and a tear trailed down her face. Daisy and Rosalina both took steps toward her, letting her know she wasn’t alone, but they didn’t reach out. They knew Peach was strong and capable, even if she doubted herself.

“If you two continue I will be forced to do what I probably should have done years ago.”

Reaching into her voluminous skirts Peach pulled out a powerful item that radiated a power so strong that no one was able to look directly at it.

Bowser took two instinctive steps backward, looking at Peach warily perhaps for the first time truly understanding what exactly he’d put her through with his selfish actions, that she would go this far in her desire to be away from him. A small niggle of remorse tugged at his heart.

Mario looked at the item lustfully. In all of his years he’d never seen or experienced such a potent power-up. Peach’s words pierced through his desire and reminded him, once again, that there was more to life than the euphoria of a new power. He could always trust Peach to bring him back down to reality.

Unsure if her words had made the impact she needed, but hopeful that they’d at least understood her threat, Peach felt horrible for threatening them. That wasn’t who she was, she was in this situation because she preferred diplomatic resolutions, but those weren’t working. At some point she had to stand up for herself. She’d gotten better at that these last few years, fighting more and more battles, but never the one that mattered most to her.

Feeling overwhelmed at finally standing up for herself Peach felt more tears threatening to fall. Before she lost it and ruined all the hard work she’d just done, Peach turned and ran out of the room.

Bowser and Mario both instinctually tried to follow her, but Rosalina and Daisy blocked their pursuit. The two women had encouraged Peach for years to stand up for herself, reminding her on countless occasions about how smart and resourceful she was, the pride they felt witnessing her confrontation couldn’t be surpassed. They knew it was just the beginning, but they had faith that Peach would come out the other side stronger than ever before and they would do everything they could to help her along the way.

Unable to accept the feelings he was experiencing Bowser pulled out a Super Crown and put it on his head transforming into Bowsette. Gathering the Koopalings she left Peach’s castle and retreated back to her own kingdom to do her own soul searching.

Mario didn’t know what to do. His enemy gone and the woman he thought he loved demanding that he leave her alone, he shoved his hands into his pockets, turned, and left the castle too. He left the Mushroom Kingdom so that Peach could have the space she needed, but he was hopeful that he could one day have a relationship with her. One where they were on equal ground and Peach didn’t feel like he just wanted one thing from her.

In her room, high up in a castle tower, Peach’s chest heaved as she felt like a giant weight had been lifted from her shoulders. They had left when she asked them too. She wasn’t sure if they would be back tomorrow, but today they had respected her wishes. For the first time in a long time she felt like she had some measure of control over her future. It was intoxicating.

A knock sounded on her door and she called out, “Come in!”

Daisy, Rosalina, and Toad walked into her room. She grinned at them in giddy glee.

“What now,” Rosalina asked?