movie review

Cuban Fury (2014)

Cuban Fury

Cuban Fury (2014)

Director:

James Griffiths

Starring:

Nick Frost

Rashida Jones

Chris O’Dowd

Plot:

Beneath Bruce Garrett’s under-confident, overweight exterior, the passionate heart of a salsa king lies dormant. Now, one woman is about to reignite his Latin fire.

Review:

Cute comedy that I wouldn’t quiet label a romantic comedy though it does have its romantic moments. It was a movie about a man who finally figured out who he was, a salsa dancer. It was pretty funny.

Chris O’Dowd played a great asshole.

When Nick Frost was making the mix tape I told my husband exactly what was going to happen next and I was right. He was naturally very impressed.

Nice movie, love Nick Frost, awesome Simon Pegg cameo.

3.5/5

The Lone Ranger (2013)

lone ranger

The Lone Ranger (2013)

Director:

Gore Verbinski

Starring:

Johnny Depp

Armie Hammer

William Fitchner

Plot:

Native American warrior Tonto recounts the untold tales that transformed John Reid, a man of the law, into a legend of justice.

Review:

I’ve never seen the original Lone Ranger but I had an image in my mind of a kick ass cowboy. That is not what I got.

At least half of the movie was an origin story, which could have very easily been done during credits with newspaper images or in the first five minutes. Definitely dragged on and the origin wasn’t worth it. Brother’s killed, Lone Ranger is born. There done.

The Lone Ranger came off as klutzy idiot who was randomly able to complete amazing feats. Again not the image I had in mind and it wouldn’t have been a problem if it had been consistent. If there had been a montage or something to show him going from a spaz to being able to gallop a horse on a train.

That brings up another complaint. The last part of the movie was so over the top, and I assume meant to be filled with tension, but because of how ludicrous everything was there was no tension.

I think it’s fairly obvious I didn’t like the movie. I didn’t hate it but it was not a movie I would recommend. I thought Armie Hammer was good, the faults in the movie weren’t his acting it was the material he’d been given.

2.75/5

Warm Bodies (2013)

warm bodies

Warm Bodies (2013)

Director:

Jonathan Levine

Starring:

Nicholas Hoult

Teresa Palmer

John Malkovich

Plot:

After a highly unusual zombie saves a still-living girl from an attack, the two form a relationship that sets in motion events that might transform the entire lifeless world.

Review:

Romeo and Juliet Z edition. Also Nicholas Hoult looks like a young Tom Cruise.

The movie was ok, nothing really special. Though it was nice to see the story from the zombies perspective. I didn’t hate the music.

Honestly it was just sort of eh. Nothing remarkable, nothing really stood out. It was just another movie.

Maybe I watch too many?

3/5

The Single Moms Club (2014)

single moms club

The Single Moms Club (2014)

Director:

Tyler Perry

Starring:

Nia Long

Wendi McLendon

Amy Smart

Plot:

When five struggling single moms put aside their differences to form a support group, they find inspiration and laughter in their new sisterhood, and help each other overcome the obstacles that stand in their way.

Review:

“We need a man who knows how to pound. With tools.”

Wow that conversation was filled with so much sexual innuendo it was hilarious.

There were a few Spanish parts that I wish were subtitled, but I guess I should just learn Spanish, I got the general gist.

The part where one of the kids runs off and they all get emotional is a bit over the top. Everyone learns something about their kids, tempers are raised, and then they just give up and go home. Seriously? The mom with the missing kid just screams at them to all leave and they do. A couple of them get to make out with their new men, but they just leave their friend. What shitty friends. But wait, it’s ok, her man comes to keep her company. The man she’s dated a couple times. I mean, yeah, he’s Tyler Perry so you know he’ll take care of everything, but the whole point of the movie is single moms helping each other out. Then they bail. Wtf?

The movie wraps up with the moms talking to their kids and using all the info they learned from the other moms. The kids all seem older than they really are, dialog wise.

I’m not a single mom, but I have a ten month old and I can’t imagine how hard it is to be one. I don’t really think this movie portrayed all the difficulties involved, but it covered a lot of the varieties.

Love me some Terry Crews.

2.75/5

I, Frankenstein (2014)

I frankenstein

I, Frankenstein (2014)

Director:

Stuart Beattie

Starring:

Aaron Eckhart

Bill Nighy

Miranda Otto

Yvonne Strahovski

Plot:

Frankenstein’s creature finds himself caught in an all-out, centuries old war between two immortal clans.

Review:

What is it with the gravely voices people do nowadays? I blame Batman. It’s like if you want to seem dark and menacing you speak like you smoke a pack a day. Over done, imo.

I like the mythology, the fact that it’s gargoyles fighting against demons. That’s cool and you don’t really see that very often.

Evidently if you’re a reanimated corpse you can’t get clean. His skin is always dirty. You’d think a dead guy would have ashy skin but it’s got like gold flakes in it or something.

I swear when he’s walking down the alley all slow-mo and the gargoyles have found him his fly is down. Not the entire time just in one shot. Could have been my imagination but I didn’t bother rewinding to confirm.

The CG in this movie sucks balls. It’s like a SyFy movie, well not quiet but almost.

So many good actors and yet this movie sucks ass. I blame the script.

2/5