Russell Crowe

Winter’s Tale (2014)

winters tale

Winter’s Tale (2014)

Director:

Akiva Goldsman

Starring:

Colin Farrell

Jessica Brown Findlay

Russell Crowe

Plot:

A burglar falls for an heiress as she dies in his arms. When he learns that he has the gift of reincarnation, he sets out to save her.

Review:

Sex killed her so never have sex kids. That is what this movie taught me. Her dad told her, but no she had to go and bone Colin Farrell. It’s not like an angel slipped something in her drink that caused her heart to beat too fast and it was really the combination of the two, plus the fact that she had consumption.

There seems to be a lot of mythology that isn’t explained well in the movie. There’s a horse with wings, he somehow time travels when he’s pushed off a bridge, there’s angels and demons but you’re just expected to know how and why.

There’s this amazing romantic feel to the movie but there isn’t a romantic happy ending. There are lots of fantasy elements but I wouldn’t categorize it as a fantasy. It’s a little bit of a lot of things.

Will Smith is in the movie, as Lucifer, and he’s one of the best parts. I might actually bump it up half a star because of him.

I didn’t expect to like this movie and I wouldn’t say I loved it, but it was a nice surprise. I really enjoyed the ending and didn’t see it coming. I cried, of course.

3.75/5

Man of Steel (2013)

man-of-steel-poster-final

Directed By:

Zack Snyder

Starring:

Henry Cavill

Amy Adams

Russell Crowe

Kevin Costner

Plot:

A young itinerant worker is forced to confront his secret extrastellar origin when Earth is invaded by members of his own race.

***Disclaimer***

The minute I saw the first trailer for this movie I was apprehensive. With all the grey I knew they were going to make Superman gritty and realistic, as realistic as possible anyway. That works fine with Batman, he has no superpowers, but I didn’t think they’d be able to do it with Superman. I still planned on seeing it in theaters, until Entertainment Weekly spoiled the ending for me. It infuriated me that they had Superman kill. Superman does not kill any more than Batman uses a gun.

I am not a Superman expert. All I know about him is what I’ve seen in the movies and what I read in a year of buying comics (I had to quit because it became an incredibly expensive addiction). I do have certain ideas that I think Superman should live up to though. This movie did not live up to those ideas.

Review:

My first reaction to the movie was Superman had some very obvious manscaping going on. Things just went downhill from there. The constant flash backs were annoying. The grey filter was overused. The fight scenes looked like video game cut scenes. Lois Lane kept popping up, sometimes with no reason. How the hell did she wind up with him there at the end? Superman, at least the Superman I know, is not vindictive. Also, gaping plot holes.

The movie wanted you to believe that he was just learning how to control his powers. That he was raised on a farm and then traveled the world doing odd jobs. Yet he was somehow able to defeat General Zod? Someone who had literally been bred to be a warrior. Even with his slight advantage of being more familiar with his powers Zod should have still been able to wipe the floor with him. They were over ambitious using Zod in the first movie and because of it he went out like a bitch. You’re telling me that a man bred to fight can’t get out of a choke hold? He has the same powers as Superman but with decades more fighting experience.

Maybe it’s not fair of me to review this movie since I went into it with such hatred. Whether it is or not I’ve done it.

1/5