Book Review

Fat Vampire

fat vampire

Fat Vampire By Johnny B. Truant

Plot:

When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn’t make fun of him, it’s just his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a thousand-year-old vampire. And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it’s just Reginald’s own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he’s become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to “heal” to his corpulent self for all of eternity. As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire — too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead — he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race. Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife’s lemons into tasty lemon danishes.

Review:

I stayed up way too late reading this book. It’s actually been a while since I’ve stayed up quiet that late. I naturally regretted it in the morning but I just couldn’t stop reading.

There was a part involving a child where I was concerned about the direction the story was going but it all worked out and wasn’t creepy or horrible in any way. Though I didn’t understand why, at the end, they didn’t explain why the mother just let her child disappear for a couple weeks. Maybe I missed the explanation, it was super late.

4/5

Fangirl

fangirl

Fangirl By: Rainbow Rowell

Plot:

Cath is a Simon Snow fan. Okay, the whole world is a Simon Snow fan… But for Cath, being a fan is her life—and she’s really good at it. She and her twin sister, Wren, ensconced themselves in the Simon Snow series when they were just kids; it’s what got them through their mother leaving. Reading. Rereading. Hanging out in Simon Snow forums, writing Simon Snow fan fiction, dressing up like the characters for every movie premiere. Cath’s sister has mostly grown away from fandom, but Cath can’t let go. She doesn’t want to. Now that they’re going to college, Wren has told Cath she doesn’t want to be roommates. Cath is on her own, completely outside of her comfort zone. She’s got a surly roommate with a charming, always-around boyfriend, a fiction-writing professor who thinks fan fiction is the end of the civilized world, a handsome classmate who only wants to talk about words… And she can’t stop worrying about her dad, who’s loving and fragile and has never really been alone. For Cath, the question is: Can she do this? Can she make it without Wren holding her hand? Is she ready to start living her own life? Writing her own stories? And does she even want to move on if it means leaving Simon Snow behind?
Review:

I love Rainbow Rowell. I like to think if I ever met her we’d be friends.

*sigh*

Creepiness over.

Rowell creates great characters. People I understand and like to think I’d get along with. The people she writes are people I wish I met in real life. Maybe I’m just not getting out enough. Probably.

Fangirl could have easily been about me at that age. Well except for the twin sister, and the horrible mom, and the whole writing fanfiction. Cath is like an uber introvert and that’s how I was, or really wanted to be but I forced myself to leave more than she did. Of course I wasn’t an emotional wreck like Cath was, I guess that’s why my life isn’t a novel.

Oh well.

Awesome book, horrible review, this happens when I love a book/movie/tv show too much.

5/5

Gerard’s Beauty

gerards beauty

Gerard’s Beauty (Kingdom #2) By: Marie Hall

Plot:

A not so classic retelling of Beauty and the Beast, as seen through the eyes of the villain… Betty Hart has had it with men. Jilted in love, her life now consists of shelving books by day, watching too much Anime by night, and occasionally dressing up like a superhero on the weekends with her fellow ‘Bleeding Heart’ nerds. Men are not welcome and very much unwanted. Especially the sexy Frenchman who saunters into her library reeking of alcohol and looking like he went one too many rounds in the ring. Gerard Caron is in trouble. Again. Caught with his pants down (literally) he’s forced to seek asylum on Earth while his fairy godmother tries to keep Prince Charming from going all ‘Off with his head’. Maybe, messing around with the King’s daughter hadn’t been such a great idea after all, not that Gerard knew the silly redhead was a princess. But his fairy godmother knows the only way to save his life is to finally pair Gerard with his perfect mate, whether he’s willing or not. From the moment Gerard lays eyes on the nerdy librarian he knows he must have her, but Betty is unlike any woman he’s ever known. He thought Betty would come as willingly to his bed as every other woman before her, but she is a woman who demands respect and even… horror of all horrors… love. Is it possible for a self-proclaimed Casanova to change his ways?

Review:

Really liking this series so far.

Throughout the book Betty’s nephew played a part. It was Gerard’s reaction to him that caused Betty to start to love him, almost every reaction to him caused Betty to love Gerard more. The ending just seemed to ignore him though. I get that it’s a romance book and the real story is Betty and Gerard but I thought there should be some explanation as to what was going to happen to her nephew. If they go live in the Kingdom who is going to help take care of him?

That’s really the only negative I have to say about the book. I loved that Gerard was neutered and had to learn to actually look at and pay attention to her. He couldn’t just whip his dick out and have her succumb to his sexiness.

3.5/5

Her Mad Hatter

MAD HATTER

Her Mad Hatter (Kingdom #1) By: Marie Hall

Plot:

Alice is all grown up. Running the Mad Hatter’s Cupcakery and Tea Shoppe is a delicious job, until fate–and a fairy godmother with a weakness for bad boys–throws her a curveball. Now, Alice is the newest resident of Wonderland, where the Mad Hatter fuels her fantasies and thrills her body with his dark touch. The Mad Hatter may have a voice and a body made for sex, but he takes no lovers. Ever. But a determined fairy godmother has forced Alice into Wonderland–and his arms. Now, as desire and madness converge, the Hatter must decide if he will fight the fairy godmother’s mating–or fight for Alice.

Review:

The Mad Hatter has never really done it for me, except in the TV Mini Series Alice and Andrew Lee Potts made me rethink a lot of things.

Anyway, even without that previous obsession with the character, Marie Hall made me really care about what happened to him and want him to have a happy ending.

The premise of the series is interesting, though not original since the new thing to do is tell the story from the bad guys point of view. Bad boys are just misunderstood they’re not evil, they need love too. Still I like the concept.

Alice had secrets that I wasn’t expecting and I craved cupcakes for a while after I read this. I cried.

4.5/5

Dark Witch

daark witch

Dark Witch By: Nora Robers (The Cousins of O’Dwyer Trilogy #1)

Plot:

With indifferent parents, Iona Sheehan grew up craving devotion and acceptance. From her maternal grandmother, she learned where to find both: a land of lush forests, dazzling lakes, and centuries-old legends. Ireland. County Mayo, to be exact. Where her ancestors’ blood and magic have flowed through generations—and where her destiny awaits. Iona arrives in Ireland with nothing but her Nan’s directions, an unfailingly optimistic attitude, and an innate talent with horses. Not far from the luxurious castle where she is spending a week, she finds her cousins, Branna and Connor O’Dwyer. And since family is family, they invite her into their home and their lives. When Iona lands a job at the local stables, she meets the owner, Boyle McGrath. Cowboy, pirate, wild tribal horsemen, he’s three of her biggest fantasy weaknesses all in one big, bold package. Iona realizes that here she can make a home for herself—and live her life as she wants, even if that means falling head over heels for Boyle. But nothing is as it seems. An ancient evil has wound its way around Iona’s family tree and must be defeated. Family and friends will fight with each other and for each other to keep the promise of hope—and love—alive…

Review:

I really use to love Nora Roberts books. I was at the used bookstore and the library at least once a week to load up on any they had available. I devoured them. I loved that I could see her formula, I knew that these three women would be paired up with these three men, and they would all live happily ever after.

That being said I’ve been a bit disappointed with her most recent series. Inn BoonsBoro Trilogy was good but she went into way more detail about construction and picking out swatches and tile than I really needed to know.

I felt like Dark Witch was trying too hard to be fantasy and the romance suffered because of it. Sadly the fantasy elements weren’t all there either. The book just seemed spread too thin.

It was interesting to read a magic system created by someone who doesn’t normally write fantasy. Roberts has definitely dabbled and loves to include supernatural elements in her books but this series is actually about witch cousins.

I liked the pairing of Iona (awesome name btw) and Boyle. Iona was always reacting how I least expected her too, which was also great to read. However, their romance wasn’t resolved until the epilogue. It was treated as a side note.

“Oh yeah I love you, do you love me?”

“I do! Let’s get married.”

“Ok.”

The End.

Not quiet that short, but about that satisfying. I’ll eventually get around to reading the rest of the series, but it has been downgraded to a library loan.

3/5