Movie

Prince and Me (2004)


The Prince and Me (2004)

Director:

Martha Coolidge

Starring:

Julia Stiles

Luke Mably

Ben Miller

Plot:

At college Paige meets Eddie, a fellow student from Denmark, whom she first dislikes but later accepts, likes, and loves; he proves to be Crown Prince Edvard. Paige follows him to Copenhagen, and he follows her back to school with a plan.

Review:

Paige, Julia Stiles, is a no nonsense, get shit done woman. She’s going to be a doctor and nothing can stand in her way. Edvard, Luke Mably, is a prince that has been given everything expect the one thing he wants, no responsibility. After viewing a commercial for Girls Gone Wild Wisconsin (I kid you not) he decides that he’s going to run to Wisconsin so that he can get easy college girls out of his system.

Almost immediately he runs out of money and has to get a job because his parents have cut him off. With work and school bearing down on him, naturally, that means he should forget about the coeds that might be willing to be a one night stand for an attractive man with a British accent, instead he puts his sights on Paige.

Opposites attract and they’re both beautiful and things are going smoothly, until the paparazzi find the prince and Paige discovers he’s first in line to the Denmark throne. Did I mention he was hiding that?

Anyway, after speaking with her mom she maxes out all of her credit cards, and her friend’s, to run to him in Denmark. She decides that she will be his queen and all of her dreams no longer matter because she has love.

Then things take an awesome turn. She realizes that she may love him and he loves her, but this isn’t her world. Sure she could make it work, but she still wants to be a doctor, she still wants to help people. So she tells him goodbye and heads back to college.

Edvard becomes king, but he decides that love is more important and that he can wait for Paige to get her degree and become a doctor. He runs back to America, tells her he’ll wait forever, and they kiss and three more movies are made about their love.

It was a cute movie, I really liked the twist at the end. It made the movie more than a simple romance.

3/5

No Reservations (2007)

No Reservations (2007)

Director:

Scott Hicks

Starring:

Catherine Zeta-Jones

Aaron Eckhart

Abigail Breslin

Plot:

The life of a top chef changes when she becomes the guardian of her young niece.

Review:

I am dieting. I am really enjoying watching stuff with food. This had food in it, though, not as much as I wanted.

Catherine Zeta-Jones is gorgeous and a food genius that has nothing else in her life except her sister and niece. Her sister dies and she’s left to raise her niece. The learning curve is steep and she only knows gourmet food.

Aaron Eckhart wants to learn how to cook from Catherine Zeta-Jones and obviously seduce her. He falls in love with her O face while feeding her food. He’s also a normal well-adjusted human being so is better at connecting with the niece.

They fall in love, open their own restaurant, and all live happily ever after.

3/5

Penelope (2006)


Penelope (2006)

Director:

Mark Palansky

Starring:

Christina Ricci

James McAvoy

Reese Witherspoon

Plot:

A modern romantic tale about a young aristocratic heiress born under a curse that can only be broken when she finds true love with “one who will accept her as one of their own.”

Review:

Penelope, Christina Ricci, is the first girl to be born on her father’s side since they were cursed because a dude was a douche bag. She needed a blue blood to love her as is, which apparently is hard when your nose is a snout.

The movie is adorable and I really like it, but it’s also super sad because how could her mother not love her as is? What about her father? Come on! Their daughter is brilliant and nice and funny and because of her nose they can’t accept her? Shit parents.

A matchmaker is hired to find someone to love her and proceeds to fail completely. Poor Penelope is locked in her parent’s house her entire life and finally, after so many rejections, runs away. She sees the city outside of her house for the first time and has fun. People like her, of course, and then she runs out of money, so she sells pictures of herself and the entire city falls in love.

Anyway, there is of course a cute guy, James McAvoy. His life is a mess and he’s not a blue blood and he falls for her. Things happen, but they end up together and it’s super happy.

I love this movie because it’s sweet and cute and funny. It’s just a nice movie that makes me happy.

5/5

The Happytime Murders (2018)

Happytime Murders

The Happytime Murders (2018)

Director:

Brian Henson

Starring:

Melissa McCarthy

Elizabeth Banks

Maya Rudolph

Bill Barretta

Plot:

When the puppet cast of a ’90s children’s TV show begin to get murdered one by one, a disgraced LAPD detective-turned-private eye puppet takes on the case.

Review:

This is a dirty, filthy movie. If you want to see puppets do stuff you’d never see on Sesame Street than feast your eyes.

The Happytime Murders is a noir film with puppets. Phil, Bill Barretta, is a disgraced cop turned PI. He was the first puppet to ever become a police officer and he botched it because he missed a shot and accidently killed another puppet. The movie opens with him going into his office and discovering a curvaceous broad with a sob story. It hits all the usual noir tropes, with the addition of puppets and their weird quirks.

It was at times funny and entertaining, but mainly because you were seeing puppets in weird places. The story wasn’t original and wouldn’t have been worth watching without the puppets. It was just, kind of, weird.

3/5

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

 

Home Alone 2

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

Director:

Chris Columbus

Starring:

Macaulay Culkin

Joe Pesci

Daniel Stern

Plot:

One year after Kevin McCallister was left home alone and had to defeat a pair of bumbling burglars, he accidentally finds himself stranded in New York City – and the same criminals are not far behind.

Review:

When I was growing up this was my favorite Home Alone movie. Kevin, Macaulay Culkin, gets to go to a big city, all by himself, go to a massive toy store, and eat tons of rubbish. Even as an adult he’s living my dream. Well, not really the New York part, but whatever, close enough!

Now, watching Home Alone 2, I don’t view it as positively. There is, of course, the taint of seeing Donald Trump in a beloved classic, but there’s also the fact that Kevin gets pretty extreme in his booby traps. Holy cow he would have killed the bandits many times over if it had been real. Definitely darker than the last.

I like to think that after this movie the whole family decided no more holiday traveling and they got Kevin the mental help he needed. Hopefully, he was able to live out a long, loving life, without needing to defend himself or his family from criminals that wanted to kill him. Who knows, though, maybe the Sticky/Wet Bandits broke out of jail again and finally got to seek their revenge. It’s not like anyone else knew exactly what Kevin did to them this time around.

4/5