Fashionably Dead in Diapers (Hot Damned #4) By: Robyn Peterman
And I thought being half Vampyre/half Demon was hard…That’s nothing compared to being a mother. Sweet baby Moses in a boob tube, there aren’t any books on raising True Immortals so let me give you a few tips… ~Make a map of every closet and bathroom in your home if you enjoy having sex. Sleep deprivation can cause confusion and a map will help if you only have seven minutes and thirty-one seconds. You’re welcome. ~Parenting books are useless if you’re not human. If your child is half Vampyre/ half Demon I would suggest not using parenting books at all–they can backfire like a mother humper. Trust me on this. ~Have sex. ~When your child tells you he has an imaginary friend, do not discount this as fantasy. Often times your child isn’t imagining anything. If he persists with alarming and violent stories about this fictional buddy it’s probably a Troll. Do a thorough search of your home and kill it. Decapitation works best. Some imaginary friends are harmless. However, it’s wise not to take chances. ~Have sex again. ~When in large crowds, make sure you hold tight to your child’s hand. Losing a child in an amusement park is terrifying. If you’re truly paranoid a parent could consider putting a chip in their child. If you do this don’t discuss it at dinner parties. People will think you are weird. ~At least cuddle. ~Playing with dolls is fun. Being one? No so much. If your child ever finds a Genie in a bottle, flush it immediately. Many children wish for things that are very difficult to reverse…like being doll sized. If this happens, move to Oz. There are many people of small stature there. And yes, it really does exist. ~Find a closet and go to town.
This was the book I was looking forward to. I almost never read books about babies and ever since I had one I’ve wanted too. I have to make sure the fiction out there is as accurate about them as possible or the fiction out there blows it completely out of proportion and makes my situation seem so much better. Thankfully this book did the later.
I do not want a three quarter vampyre one quarter demon baby. He seemed super adorable and was surprisingly obedient but I would hate to be around when he’s going through his terrible twos and refuses to listen to anything his parents tell him. Maybe they’ll luck out and since he’s a True Immortal he’ll be better behaved, we’ll see. Maybe. I hope so. I look forward to more Sammy.
I wasn’t worried about Sammy’s life because of his True Immortal status, but I was worried about his psychological well being so kudos to Peterman for that. I was just as angry and worried as Astrid when he was kidnapped and I was happy with the revenge she enacted.
Also, holy cow she and Ethan were freakin horny throughout the entire book.
Hell On Heels (Hot Damned 3#) By: Robyn Peterman
Where does a Demon go when she gets deported from Hell? Kentucky. Eden, Kentucky to be more specific—where nothing is exactly as it seems. My name is Dixie. I’m a Demon—a lousy Demon. I’m a twenty-one year old virgin and I have a battery operated boyfriend. My magic is iffy at best and downright dangerous at worst. Leaving Hell to represent my race is not high on my list of things to do. Hell was exact. Hell was simple. All I want to do is get to home base with the hotter than Hades Demon of my dreams and work on my dark side so Satan, my dad, will get off my ass. Instead I end up in Kentucky looking for the Balance of Chaos, avoiding pole dancing classes with Mother Nature and finding out my invisible friend is a silver skinned destructive weather pattern. And if that isn’t craptastic enough, the damn Sword of Death is missing again and who ever has it wants the King of the Underworld dead. Seriously. With new powers emerging daily, keeping my Demon side, horniness and general disgust under wraps doesn’t make it any easier to fit in with the humans. Thankfully my priorities are in line; get laid…save world…try not to blow up kitchen appliances…and get laid again. I was ready to rumble. All I want to do is go back to Hell, but with the balance of good and evil in my hands, I’m stuck in the garden of Eden. Oh well, what the Hell. Someone has to save the world before there’s no world left to save. Might as well be me.
Dixie was very similar to Astrid, though, she didn’t quiet curse as much or as creatively. She did get better at the end when she accepted her full self. The series really is about accepting who you are completely, good and bad.
Astrid lost her mom and dad in the first book, but since then no one really impactful dies. If you’re bad you’re going to get your shit ripped apart, but if you’re good or the main character likes you, you get to live. Honestly it doesn’t really bother me, but know going in that this is definitely a light urban fantasy/paranormal book. You’re not going to be faced with huge all consuming darkness. Of course the title and covers should give that away.
I like the series. It’s cute and a great summer read. The next book is the book I’ve really been looking forward to, though. Astrid has a baby that shouldn’t be possible so I’m excited to see what happens.
Fashionably Dead Down Under (Hot Damned Series #2) By: Robyn Peterman
Welcome to Hell. Literally. The Hell where the Prince of Darkness is hotter than Hades, Hell Hounds smell like brownies and the Seven Deadly Sins are addicted to Facebook… Not to mention the soundtrack in the Underworld is Journey. For real. I should have known no good could come from offing my parents in the space of twenty minutes no matter how psychotic and evil they were… Now I find out my family tree includes almost every deity and mythological being alive while Ethan, the one and only love of my undead life has a limited time down under before he turns to dust. In the land of Sin, you’d think I’d get some nookie time with my man, but no. Baby Demons, cousins and grandparents put the kibosh on that. Blue balls are the new normal. What the hell does a half-Vampyre Half-Demon have to do to catch a break? Apparently find a freakin’ sword, calm Mother Nature’s unmedicated mood swings and make sure Mister Rogers keeps his sticky fingers to himself during weekly poker with the Devil. And I have three days to do it. By all that’s unholy, I thought Ethan’s Vampyre family was crazy…Trust me, they have nothing on the Demons.
I liked this one more than the first, possibly because of the fewer Prada remarks. She still had her fashion moments but they weren’t as big a part of the story.
Astrid is not in Australia this time, in case the title gave you that impression. She’s in Hell, which incidentally isn’t down but on another plane. I thought the world building was great, loved Uncle Satan and God. Thought the Facebook addicted Sins were amusing, and I’m looking forward to reading more in this world.
Astrid is becoming or really has already become a supremely powerful being. The only thing that isn’t making her boring is that she barely realizes it and only some other people know it. I no longer fear for her life, though, so that’s something Peterman won’t be able to hold over me.
The next book appears to be about Dixie, Astrid’s cousin, so we’ll see what happens.
Fashionably Dead (Hot Damned Series #1) By: Robyn Peterman
Vampyres don’t exist. They absolutely do not exist. At least I didn’t think they did ‘til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead? Now I’m a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren’t bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe. On the downside, I’m stuck with an obscenely profane Guardian Angel who looks like Oprah and a Fairy Fighting Coach who’s teaching me to annihilate like the Terminator. To complicate matters, my libido has increased to Vampyric proportions and my attraction to a hotter than Satan’s underpants killer rogue Vampyre is not only dangerous . . . it’s possibly deadly. For real dead. Permanent death isn’t on my agenda. Avoiding him is my only option. Of course, since he thinks I’m his, it’s easier said than done. Like THAT’S not enough to deal with, all the other Vampyres think I’m some sort of Chosen One. Holy Hell, if I’m in charge of saving an entire race of blood suckers, the Undead are in for one hell of a ride.
I’m not a huge fan of clothes so I never love books with main characters constantly drooling over certain designers. Oddly enough I love watching Project Runway, but whatever.
Other than a huge obsession with Prada and a need to describe every outfit she puts on, I liked Astrid. She was strong, wasn’t stupid, and was incredibly loyal to her friends and family.
The world was interesting, however I did think some things weren’t thought through. Astrid was trying to stop smoking so she goes to get hypnotized and is then turned into a vampire. She then isn’t able to smoke because she no longer can breath and yet she sure talks a lot.
Oh well. I don’t require science in my fantasy.
The book was compelling and I’m intrigued enough to continue on to the next.