Jason Statham

Spy (2015)

Spy-Movie

Spy (2015)

Director:

Paul Feig

Starring:

Melissa McCarthy

Rose Byrne

Jude Law

Peter Serafinowicz

Miranda Hart

Jason Statham

Plot:

A desk-bound CIA analyst volunteers to go undercover to infiltrate the world of a deadly arms dealer, and prevent diabolical global disaster.

Review:

I laughed a lot with this movie and that’s always a good sign. It wasn’t perfect and I again got tired of the jokes making fun of McCarthy’s weight and unremarkableness, but it was nowhere near as bad as some of her other movies.

Some of the best parts of the film were the supporting characters. I loved the sex obsessed Aldo, Peter Serafinowicz, and Nancy, Miranda Hart, played a great best friend. I liked that they didn’t make Nancy as field capable as McCarthy’s character.

I was surprised at what they did with Ford, Jason Statham’s character. Based on the previews I thought he was going to be a sort of mentor to McCarthy’s character but instead he was a macho idiot. I’m not sure if I liked him or not.

***Spoiler***

I really liked the ending and that she didn’t wind up in bed with Jude Law’s character, I did wish that he had stayed bad and that they hadn’t made him a triple agent.

If they do a sequel I hope it’s with the same characters.

3.5/5

 

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The Expendables 3 (2014)

Expendables 3

The Expendables 3 (2014)

Director:

Patrick Hughes

Starring:

Sylvester Stallone

Jason Statham

Jet Li

Harrison Ford

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Mel Gibson

Wesley Snipes

Dolph Lundgren

Randy Couture

Terry Crews

Kelsey Grammer

Antonio Banderas

Plot:

Barney augments his team with new blood for a personal battle: to take down Conrad Stonebanks, the Expendables co-founder and notorious arms trader who is hell bent on wiping out Barney and every single one of his associates.

Review:

It sucks that this movie got leaked, but then it sucks that they screwed over their fans and made the movie PG-13. I don’t expect much of a story from an Expendables movie but I do expect lots of blood, action, and violence. When the best part of the movie is the dialog you know that something is wrong.

The best parts were Kelsey Grammer, Wesley Snipes, Harrison Ford, and Antonio Banderas. The kids might not have even been in the movie, though if they weren’t we wouldn’t have the awesome scenes with Grammer. I wasn’t expecting much from Banderas but he was crazy and not what I had anticipated. I expected more from Snipes, but apart from the beginning, he was barely in the movie.

Evidently the original cut was four hours long but obviously it couldn’t be that long so they cut a bunch. At least I hope that’s what it was, because there were a lot of parts where it was just what the hell? They had a dude for half an hour just jumping up an elevator shaft. They’d just cut to him randomly.

There are a lot of people in the Expendables movies but unlike the Avengers movies they have a hard time finding a good balance with characters. That’s actually something I wish they had done with these, have build up. One movie shows off how much of a badass this character is and then another movies does the same with another and then they team up to kick even more ass. But that hasn’t been done so I should just get over it.

I really liked the first two Expendables movies, they were on the cusp of being awesome and with each one they just fell a little short. They suffered from too many quick cuts, poor editing, and bad CG. This one had that times a hundred. My hope is that they cut a lot to get a PG-13 rating and that when the extended cut comes out on Blu-ray I get a better movie.

3/5

Parker (2013)

parker

Director:

Taylor Hackford

Starring:

Jason Statham

Jennifer Lopez

Michael Chiklis

Plot:

A thief with a unique code of professional ethics is double-crossed by his crew and left for dead. Assuming a new disguise and forming an unlikely alliance with a woman on the inside, he looks to hijack the score of the crew’s latest heist.

Review:

Poor Jason Statham. He’s a super attractive man that can kick some serious ass. Why does he insist on starring in such shitty movies? Is it just the scripts he’s getting? Are there no good action scripts out there? God I hope that’s it. I’m going to spend my free time writing an action script that doesn’t suck.

I can’t think of one redeemable part of this movie. It had Jennifer Lopez in it, but she didn’t really need to be. There didn’t need to be two women in this movie, they could have brought it down to one.

Statham should never, ever, ever do a southern accent ever again. Ever.

1/5

Homefront (2013)

Homefront_2013_dvd

Director:

Gary Fleder

Starring:

Jason Statham

James Franco

Winona Ryder

Plot:

A former DEA agent moves his family to a quiet town, where he soon tangles with a local meth druglord.

Review:

I will never understand directors that cast Jason Statham and then don’t showcase his talents. Yeah there’s action but with all the quick cuts and shaky cam who the hell knows what’s going on? It’s infuriating. The man can fight and he looks good fighting, but do you let people see that? No. You do so many cuts and shake so much that you end up just getting the vague idea that a fight has happened.

I’m over exaggerating, but just a little.

You’ve hired a choreographer and an action star fucking use them!

When you watch a fight do you bounce around from place to place in seconds? No. You find a place with a good view and watch as the fight happens. Why can’t movies do that? Every time there are copious amounts of quick cuts and shaky cam I’m taken out of the movie and get pissed off.

Anyway back to the movie.

The story was bad, the whole romantic story line just disappeared with no resolution. James Franco wasn’t as crazy as I thought he was going to be but he was probably the best part of the movie. I really don’t think Winona Ryder needed to be in the movie, she was just an extra character and her parts could have been given to someone else.

This was an adaption from a book which I haven’t read. Maybe the book makes more sense, maybe they had to cut out a lot for time. Whatever the case this movie did not work for me.

1.5/5