Jean-Claude Van Damme

Bloodsport (1988)

The Great Movie Re-Watch

Bloodsport (1988)

Director:

Newt Arnold

Writers:

Sheldon Lettich

Christopher Crosby

Mel Friedman

Starring:

Jean-Claude Van Damme

Donald Gibb

Leah Aryes

Norman Burton

Forest Whitaker

Blurb:

“Bloodsport” follows Frank Dux, an American martial artist serving in the military, who decides to leave the army to compete in a martial arts tournament in Hong Kong where fights to the death can occur.

Thoughts:

I’ve been stuck on Bloodsport for a while because it’s another one of my husband’s movies, and he can’t watch movies as frequently as I do. He prefers to play video games. Eventually, I got tired of waiting and put it on while he played Monster Hunter on the switch, occasionally looking up. I realize, technically, I could skip these kinds of movies. It’s not mine, after all. It feels like cheating, though. I don’t hate Bloodsport. I don’t feel a need to own it, but I don’t have an issue watching it. So I force myself to all in the name of sticking to my Great Movie Re-Watch plan.

Bloodsport is one of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s first big movies. Despite the lack of plot and inclusion of most action movie cliché’s it was incredibly popular and made a decent amount of money. Enough to spawn a couple of sequels, at least. The fight scenes are fun, but the acting is pretty bad, and the story is often unintentionally hilarious. There is also a cat that meows throughout all of the fight scenes. It’s distracting and annoying.

One of the best things to come out of Bloodsport is a Mentos spoof commercial that I will link to below. It’s another entertainingly bad action movie.

Pound of Flesh (2015)

Pound of Flesh

Pound of Flesh (2015)

Director:

Ernie Barbarash

Starring:

Jean-Claude Van Damme

Darren Shahlavi

Charlotte Peters

Plot:

A man’s heroic attempt to help a woman in distress ends up with him waking up the next day without a kidney and plotting his revenge.

Review:

In case you couldn’t tell from the plot synopsis or the pic this movie is not good. The question is, is it so bad that it’s good?

No.

That was easy.

When JCVD is the best actor in your movie, you’re going to have a bad time. There was green screen at really odd moments, awkward shots, and poor plotting. The movie was truly embarrassing to watch and apparently one of the better cheaply made action movies out there.

Even if you like those types of movies I really couldn’t recommend this one. The ending is truly horrible and I ended up fast forwarding through a lot of it. The only reason it’s not getting a one star is because I didn’t absolutely hate it.

1.5/5

Welcome To the Jungle (2013)

Welcome-to-The-Jungle-Comedy-Movie-2013-6

Director:

Rob Meltzer

Starring:

Jean-Claude Van Damme

Rob Huebel

Adam Brody

Plot:

A company retreat on a tropical island goes terribly awry.

Review:

This movie had it’s good moments but there was too much romance going on. Based on the trailer alone I didn’t realize there was going to be that much but that’s a movie trailer for you.

There were a few hilarious parts, some boobs, and cannibalism. But that’s it.

*shrug*

I guess it takes more to entertain me than it used to. Maybe if there were more boobs?

Jean-Claude Van Damme was good but not in the entire movie. Rob Huebel was hilarious. Adam Brody was predictable.

2.75/5

Enemies Closer (2013)

enemies closer

Director:

Peter Hyams

Starring:

Tom Everett

Jean-Claude Van Damme

Orlando Jones

Plot:

Deep within a forest on the US-Canadian border, two sworn enemies must work together to escape a ruthless drug cartel hell-bent on retrieving a drug shipment which went missing there.

Review:

If you like cheesy, over the top, poorly acted, action movies than you will love this movie. I thought it started out great, the bad guys were Mounties for crying out loud. The worst part of the movie, as much as it pains me to say it, was Jean-Claude Van Damme. He was trying so hard to be a great actor that he just seemed like a joke.

The dialog was the worst part, but if you’ve watched a lot of direct to video action movies you’re use to it. The only reason I’m giving this movie the score I am is because I felt that it didn’t live up to its potential.

3/5