Movie Reviews

CHIPS (2017)

CHIPS (2017)

Director:

Dax Shephard

Starring:

Michael Pena

Dax Shephard

Vincent D’Onofrio

Plot:

A rookie officer is teamed with a hardened pro at the California Highway Patrol, though the newbie soon learns his partner is really an undercover Fed investigating a heist that may involve some crooked cops.

Review:

This movie was a lot funnier than I expected. It’s actually kind of sad that it bombed and won’t get a sequel.

Dax Shephard is an ex-BMX rider or something and is basically stitched together. Michael Pena is an FBI agent that can’t resist yoga pants and is a loose cannon. They become friends and catch bank robbers. It’s hilarious. Also, boobs.

3.5/5

9 to 5 (1980)


9 to 5 (1980)

Director:

Collin Higgins

Starring:

Dolly Parton

Lily Tomlin

Jane Fonda

Plot:

Three female employees of a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot find a way to turn the tables on him.

Review:

This movie made me mad, then sad, then mad all over again. Dolly Parton, Lily Tomlin, and Jane Fonda are amazing women. Seeing them all together was so great.

Dolly Parton is a secretary for a sexist, bigoted, pig that doesn’t deserve his job and is a walking, talking sexual harassment case. He tells everyone that he’s sleeping with her, even though she is very happily married. She has some of the best lines in the movie.

Lily Tomlin knows everything about the company and keeps everything working dispite the bosses best efforts. She’s a single mom, has put in all kinds of time, and keeps getting passed up for a promotion, passed up by people that she’s trained. It’s infuriating.

Jane Fonda is a recent divorce who gets her first job and discovers that her ex-husband was not the only asshole man out there.

They bond over their horrible boss, there are some hijinks, and then they kind of win. They get eighty percent of a win. Which is bittersweet and really drives home the reality of what women have to put up with. We can’t even get the win in a movie.

Their boss gets recognition for all the shit they did, a bonus, and a promotion. A promotion to Brazil, which he doesn’t want, but his wife loves him even more and he’s getting recognition and money. Lily Tomlin finally gets the job that was owed her. Dolly Parton quits and becomes a country music star, and Jane Fonda gets married to a better man.

It was depressing.

4/5

How To Train Your Dragon (2010)


How To Train Your Dragon (2010)

Director:

Dean Deblois

Chris Sanders

Starring:

Jay Baruchel

Gerard Butler

Christopher Mintz-Plasse

America Ferrera

Plot:

A hapless young Viking who aspires to hunt dragons becomes the unlikely friend of a young dragon himself, and learns there may be more to the creatures than he assumed.

Review:

Vikings fighting dragons, this sounds really cool, but for whatever reason I just could not get into it. I liked the idea, but I just couldn’t get into this kids movie lol.

A boy Viking can’t bring himself to kill the dragons, ends up befriending them, and saves them all in the end.

I thought it was cool that he lost his foot in the end. I also liked that there were female Vikings fighting. Other than that, don’t really have much to say.

3/5

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)


The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)

Director:

Andrew Adamson

Starring:

Tilda Swinton

Georgie Henley

William Moseley

Skandar Keyes

Anna Popplewell

James McAvoy

Plot:

Four kids travel through a wardrobe to the land of Narnia and learn of their destiny to free it with the guidance of a mystical lion.

Review:

I saw this in theaters. I was a bit apprehensive because I loved the book series as a child, but I ended up loving this and was excited for the series. I ended up hating the next movies, and I’ll probably not watch them again to write a review.

Anyway, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is the story of four children escaping a world war to a house in the country. Unbeknown to them the house holds a portal to a magical world. It’s a sweet and amazing story, with father Christmas, a talking Lion that will save them all, and an evil white witch.

This is a children’s movie. You could talk about the heavy Christian symbolism and the lack of any racial representation, and it does, actually, bother me more watching it older, but it’s a kids movie. Kids save the day. Kids rule the world. It’s a fun movie, though, not as enjoyable as it once was.

3/5

Snatched (2017)


Snatched (2017)

Director:

Jonathan Levine

Starring:

Amy Schumer

Goldie Hawn

Plot:

When her boyfriend dumps her before their exotic vacation, a young woman persuades her ultra-cautious mother to travel with her to paradise, with unexpected results.

Review:

Amy Schumer’s character is a selfish fuckup and her mother, Goldie Hawn, is afraid of life. Naturally, they find themselves in Ecuador and hijinks ensue.

There were several laugh out loud moments, lots of awkward moments I couldn’t really watch, and a surprising amount of death.

All in all it was a lite, entertaining movie.

3/5