Don Cheadle

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Captain American Civil War

Oh they fuckin

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Director:

Anthony Russo

Joe Russo

Starring:

Chris Evans

Sebastian Stan

Robert Downy Jr.

Scarlett Johansson

Anthony Mackie

Don Cheadle

Jeremy Renner

Chadwick Boseman

Paul Bettany

Elizabeth Olsen

Paul Rudd

Tom Holland

Emily VanCamp

Plot:

Political involvement in the Avengers’ affairs causes a rift between Captain America and Iron Man.

Review:

S.H.I.E.L.D. is no more, technically, but that doesn’t stop the Avengers from fighting crime. Captain America, Chris Evans, has a team together and they’re trying to stop a biological weapon from being stolen. They’re in the middle of a bustling city and the bad guys don’t care about collateral damage, the Avengers aren’t as good on that front as they should be either, one thing leads to another and the side of building is destroyed. In the end the Avengers stopped the biological weapon from being stolen, but civilians died, namely Wakandan citizens died.

Cue General Ross, William Hurt, who has managed to fail upward and become the Secretary of State. He convinces a struggling Tony, Robert Downey Jr., that the best form of oversight for the Avengers is the United Nations. Tony is desperate for someone to take away the responsibility so he jumps right on it. Cap, on the other hand, is used to this side of war and has seen enough of the world’s government to know he doesn’t want to dance to their tune.

Thus the Avengers Civil War is born.

The team is fairly evenly split. War Machine, Don Cheadle, and Vision, Paul Bettany, side with Tony. While Falcon, Anthony Mackie, and Scarlett Witch, Elizabeth Olsen, are with Cap. Though Scarlett Witch had some doubts and was ultimately swayed because Tony basically put her under house arrest.

On top of all of this a new bad guy is in town and he’s decided to destroy the Avengers. He knows the great lengths that Cap will go to save Bucky, Sebastian Stan, and uses that knowledge. He plays the Avengers like a fiddle and it’s truly remarkable what he’s able to accomplish. He rips them apart and even though he’s caught in the end the damage is done.

Cap and Bucky are able to escape, but the others that chose his side are all put in the Raft, a floating prison. Tony knows that’s where they are, he goes and visits them and Hawkeye, Jeremy Renner, calls him out, but Tony just leaves them. Cap is the one that breaks them out. Tony has come backs for everything everyone says to him, but they’re so weak. He knows it, but he never acknowledges it. He knows that Bucky wasn’t in control when he killed Tony’s parents, but he loses control and doesn’t care.

This movie birthed my absolute hatred of Iron Man. I had almost forgotten exactly why I hated him, but I was very clearly reminded. I felt like the movie did a poor job backing why Cap was clearly in the right. They didn’t want Iron Man to become a bad guy so they went too weak.

The fight scenes weren’t as poorly shot as Winter Soldier, so that was nice. They’re still not good, but they weren’t nearly as bad.

There were a couple big reveals in this movie, two of them being the amazing introductions to Spider-Man, Tom Holland, and Black Panther, Chadwick Boseman. Even though this was the first introduction to these characters in the middle of an ensemble movie, they didn’t get lost. They got just enough exposure leaving you wanting more, which is exactly what they needed.

It was also revealed that Sharon, Emily VanCamp, is Peggy Carter’s niece. I hated that reveal. I was never a fan of her, but she was sort of just there so it didn’t really matter, but making her related to Peggy felt cheap. It’s like she’s a conciliation prize for Cap and I hate that. It takes an already weak character and weakens her, in my opinion. They don’t bother giving her, her own backstory, they just tac her on to someone else. Frustrating.

Captain America: Civil War is a poor title for a great movie, maybe Captain America vs. Iron Man: Poor Bucky.

4.5/5

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Iron Man 3 (2013)

IRON MAN 3

Iron Man 3 (2013)

Director:

Shane Black

Starring:

Robert Downey Jr.

Gwyneth Paltrow

Don Cheadle

Guy Pearce

Jon Favreau

Ben Kingsley

Rebecca Hall

Plot:

When Tony Stark’s world is torn apart by a formidable terrorist called the Mandarin, he starts an odyssey of rebuilding and retribution.

Review:

Tony, Robert Downey Jr., is suffering some serious PTSD after the events of The Avengers. He was already in a bad place, but all that went down was just too much and he’s starting to have bad anxiety attacks. He can’t sleep, he’s just burying himself in his work building multiple Iron Man suits. Showing some really healthy growth Tony actually reaches out to Pepper, Gwyneth Paltrow, and tells her what he’s going through. Her response, to have sex with him in the shower, and then get mad when one of his suits comes into their bedroom and pulls her off of him.

Wtf woman?!?

Your man is finally reaching out for help and that’s how you react? Opinion of Pepper is at an all-time low after that.

Being Tony he makes some supremely bad decisions by giving out his home address to a terrorist. Happy, Jon Favreau, ends up getting blown up, which is nothing less than he deserves. Dude is so creepy and gross. Anyway, Tony’s house is destroyed, Pepper is kidnapped, and Tony takes a road trip.

Best part of the movie was Iron Patriot, Don Cheadle, saving the president. It was a great action scene and gave him a chance to shine. The rest of the action was supremely disappointing. You had forty some Iron Man suits fighting but you could hardly make out what the hell was going on because of the editing.

The first half of the movie was on par with the rest of the series. It showed some growth on Tony’s part, it was as good as the other Iron Man movies, but they completely shit the bed with the last third.

Pepper is injected with a substance that allows her to heal wounds that shouldn’t be healed, up to and including re-growing a limb, but it has the nasty side effect of making you get really hot and potentially blow up. Because of this new drug she’s able to survive a fall that should have killed her and when she comes back from the dead she flips in the air, kicks something, and eventually punches a hole in Guy Pearce’s chest or something. It was so out of character it actually had her saying she had no idea why she just did that. All of the women in the Marvel universe are kickass, as much as I dislike Pepper’s character, it’s fine for her not to be an ass kicker and giving her that moment felt insulting to the character.

For Tony’s Christmas present to Pepper he blows up his remaining Iron Man suits, but he’s not giving up being Iron Man, he’s just stepping back. The end credits scene has him talking to Bruce Banner, Mark Ruffalo, like he’s a therapist and Bruce telling him he doesn’t have the temperament for this kind of work.

I feel like it was a lost opportunity to show a male superhero seeking professional help with a serious condition by not showing him taking the whole thing seriously. Throughout the movie he talks about how much he’s grown, and he did take that step and reach out to Pepper, but for the most part he has not changed at all. Seeing him speaking to an actual doctor that could help him could have helped the perception of mental health in the country and would have been a blow to toxic masculinity.

Iron Man 3 left a lot to be desired. It didn’t do the characters justice and felt like a sour note to end his solo arc on. Tony may not be my favorite character, but he deserved better.

2/5

Iron Man 2 (2010)

Iron Man 2

Iron Man 2 (2010)

Director:

Jon Favreau

Starring:

Robert Downy Jr.

Mickey Rourke

Gwyneth Paltrow

Don Cheadle

Scarlett Johansson

Sam Rockwell

Samuel L. Jackson

Clark Gregg

Plot:

With the world now aware of his identity as Iron Man, Tony Stark must contend with both his declining health and a vengeful mad man with ties to his father’s legacy.

Review:

Iron Man 2 starts with a giant celebration of Tony’s, Robert Downey Jr.’s, awesomeness. There are Iron Man Rockettes dancing, a massive adoring crowd, followed by him giving a speech about how truly amazing he is. The whole thing is outside because no building could hold his ego and that is ultimately why I don’t like Tony. He desperately needs therapy, he’s gone through some hugely traumatic shit at this point, on top of daddy issues, and yet he doesn’t seek help because who could possibly help him? His diagnosis of narcissism is not a surprise later in the film.

One of my least favorite tropes is conflict due to lack of communication, which drives most of this movie. Tony talks a LOT but it’s mostly without substance and refuses to open up to the people that love and support him. Eventually, Nick Fury, Samuel L. Jackson, forces his help upon him and Tony is finally able to solve the issues he’s facing. If there’s a lesson to be learned here it’s that you should talk to the people in your life, share your troubles, and maybe they’ll be able to help you. At the very least they could point you in the right direction.

There are a lot more hints at what’s to come in the Marcel Cinematic Universe. We’ve got allusions to Captain America and Thor in one scene alone. S.H.I.E.L.D. is also more of a presence with Phil Coulson, Clark Gregg, and Natasha Romanoff aka. Black Widow, Scarlett Johansson, having more prominent roles. We’ve seen Coulson before, but Black Widow’s addition honestly shows just how far we’ve come. She is eye candy, Happy, Jon Favreau, is constantly making stereotypical assumptions about her, being demeaning and treating her as nothing more than a pretty face. Time and time again she proves that she’s a badass and each time he’s in shock, and yet he keeps doing it. Happy was really a creep in this, more so than the first movie.

I’m not a fan of Black Widow, mainly because of her action scenes. This movie probably had her best one, or at least one of them, but for the most part they’re always filled with lots of cuts and shaky cam because a stuntwoman does Johansson’s stunts. At least in this movie her hair is long so as long as it was in her face they were able to show more.

Anyway, Iron Man was a return to the Marvel superhero movie feel I’m used to, and it set the stage for everything that’s to come in a very solid way, but I believe it was a small dip in quality from the first movie.

3/5