Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

The Great Movie Re-Watch

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Director:

Steve Barron

Writers:

Todd W. Langen

Bobby Herbeck

Starring:

Judith Hoag

Elias Koteas

Josh Paris

David Forman

Brian Tochi

Leif Tilden

Corey Feldman

Michelan Sisti

Robbie Rist

Kevin Clash

James Saito

Blurb:

Four teenage mutant ninja turtles emerge from the shadows to protect New York City from a gang of criminal ninjas.

Thoughts:

If you put a pizza through a grate like that, all of the cheese would slide off, and it would suck. The only way it wouldn’t is if it’s not a fresh pizza, and maybe the turtles are used to that, but surely thirty minutes isn’t enough time for a pizza to be made and cool to that point. Also, stiffing the dude on a tip is a dick move turtles.

Next, what the fuck was going on with Casey Jones’ pants? Seriously, dude, why the fuck are they cupping your junk so tightly? I like you, I really do, but I don’t want to see that until we’ve been married years and you’re joking around. Come on, be better.

April, don’t change. Keep channeling Lois Lane and do your thing. Don’t let the man beat you down. Maybe don’t read your journal as a voice-over. It was kind of weird and out of place.

Danny’s dad was just so-so. He didn’t seem bad, but he wasn’t awesome or anything. So I’ll let the whole call me Dan now dad thing slide. It was borderline eh, though.

This was yet another one of my husband’s movies. It’s the movie he’s most watched in his lifetime, and we tried to watch it with our kids. Like young children, they asked questions the entire time, and the experience was probably not what he had in mind. Still, they’ve seen it and hopefully one day grow to appreciate it the way he would like them to.

Nineteen-ninety-one has three movies of mine, finally, so I’m happy to watch something of mine finally.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

Director:

Jonathan Liebesman

Starring:

Megan Fox

Will Arnett

William Fichtner

Alan Ritchson

Noel Fisher

Pete Ploszek

Jeremy Howard

Plot:

When a kingpin threatens New York City, a group of mutated turtle warriors must emerge from the shadows to protect their home.

Review:

I do not have the nostalgia attached to the teenage mutant ninja turtles that my husband does. So while he never had a desire to see this movie I was curious.

I do not like the turtles voices and thought they were pretty god awful looking. How do each of them have different accents? Who in production looked at them and thought, “Yeah that looks good.”

Maybe I had more nostalgia attached to them than I thought?

I liked no aspect of this movie. From the turtles, CGI, story, acting, and directing, it did nothing for me and I pretty much hated it.

Also, this should really be re-titled the April O’Neal story since it spent most of the time on her.

1/5

 

In all honesty, I did not watch the last twenty minutes. I couldn’t, I lost all interest, and just didn’t want to waste my time.