Movie Reviews

Pound of Flesh (2015)

Pound of Flesh

Pound of Flesh (2015)

Director:

Ernie Barbarash

Starring:

Jean-Claude Van Damme

Darren Shahlavi

Charlotte Peters

Plot:

A man’s heroic attempt to help a woman in distress ends up with him waking up the next day without a kidney and plotting his revenge.

Review:

In case you couldn’t tell from the plot synopsis or the pic this movie is not good. The question is, is it so bad that it’s good?

No.

That was easy.

When JCVD is the best actor in your movie, you’re going to have a bad time. There was green screen at really odd moments, awkward shots, and poor plotting. The movie was truly embarrassing to watch and apparently one of the better cheaply made action movies out there.

Even if you like those types of movies I really couldn’t recommend this one. The ending is truly horrible and I ended up fast forwarding through a lot of it. The only reason it’s not getting a one star is because I didn’t absolutely hate it.

1.5/5

Mr. Bean’s Holiday (2007)

Mr Beans Holiday

Mr. Bean’s Holiday (2007)

Director:

Steve Bendelack

Starring:

Rowan Atkinson

Willem Dafoe

Emma de Caunes

Plot:

Mr. Bean wins a trip to Cannes where he unwittingly separates a young boy from his father and must help the two come back together. On the way he discovers France, bicycling, and true love, among other things.

Review:

I love Mr. Bean, I still laugh every time I see my favorite episodes of his show. I don’t remember being very impressed with the Mr. Bean movie from 1997, but saw this on Netflix and thought why not.

While not as bad as the 1997 movie, it still didn’t capture what I enjoy so much about Mr. Bean. I think the character might just work better in a shorter format. An entire movie with his antics can grow boring and tedious. There were several scenes that I laughed at and tons of awkward hard to watch moments, but I also spent a lot of time not paying attention to the movie cause I was bored.

I think I’ll just stick to watching the Mr. Bean TV show episodes and stay away from any further movies.

3/5

For A Good Time, Call… (2012)

For a Good Time Call

For A Good Time, Call… (2012)

Director:

Jamie Travis

Starring:

Ari Graynor

Lauren Miller

Justin Long

Plot:

Former college frenemies Lauren and Katie move into a fabulous Gramercy Park apartment, and in order to make ends meet, the unlikely pair start a phone sex line together.

Review:

So we have Bromances what are girl best friend movies called? Sismances? Girmances? No idea, but this was that type of movie.

The girls didn’t like each other because of a small incident that was easily overcome. They had a rough start but quickly overcame. It was a really cute movie and made me wish I had a close girlfriend, but man friends are so much work and you have to find them and… Oh well.

Anyway, I’d recommend this movie. It had it’s funny moments but it wasn’t hilarious. There were several surprise cameos from people I wasn’t expecting. The ending was kind of weak, but I understand why they did what they did. Overall, not bad and better than average.

4/5

Hot Pursuit (2015)

Hot Pursuit (2015)

Director:

Anne Fletcher

Starring:

Reese Witherspoon

Sofía Vergara

Plot:

An uptight and by-the-book cop tries to protect the outgoing widow of a drug boss as they race through Texas pursued by crooked cops and murderous gunmen.

Review:

I’m not sure why, maybe it was the trailer, but I was expecting this to be a lot funnier than it was. I ended up really disappointed and a little angry by the time this was over.

Witherspoon’s character grew up wanting only to be a cop and ended up choking and became a joke in the force. She is give the opportunity to redeem herself by escorting Vergara’s character to Dallas because apparently they were in Texas, though Witherspoon is one of the only characters with a southern accent and it’s not even the right one.

Whatever.

Vergara is more than just a pair of boobs, though she has no problem using them to get what she wants. Witherspoon of course misjudges her because of that and they argue about it on multiple occasions.

This reminds me of the Identity Thief movie in that these two opposite characters were supposed to learn from the other. Sadly, they didn’t learn to be better people. Evidently when Witherspoon relaxes she steals. I’m not sure what Vergara learned, let the police kill the bad guys?

2/5

 

In a World (2013)

In a World

 

In a World (2013)

Director:

Lake Bell

Starring:

Lake Bell

Fred Melamed

Michaela Watkins

Plot:

An underachieving voice coach finds herself competing in the movie trailer voice-over profession against her arrogant father and his protégé.

Review:

This movie had been on my to watch list for a while but for whatever reason I just never felt in the mood. To be honest I only selected it this time because I wanted something short and this was just over ninety minutes.

The amount of times I wanted to slap the father in this movie quickly escalated to just wanting to punch him until he was a bloody pulp. Argh!

The supporting characters were all pretty good, though, I was screaming at the sister. She at least didn’t totally fuck up and was a good sister.

Carol, Lake Bell, was a likeable character and even though she initially came off as a slacker she proved me wrong. I liked her, she was quirky had a dream and kept getting punched emotionally.

4/5