Jason Momoa

Aquaman (2018)

Aquaman

Aquaman (2018)

Director:

James Wan

Starring:

Jason Momoa

Amber Heard

Nicole Kidman

Dolph Lundgren

Plot:

Arthur Curry, the human-born heir to the underwater kingdom of Atlantis, goes on a quest to prevent a war between the worlds of ocean and land.

Review:

I went in with no expectations for this movie. I’d only watched one trailer, that I didn’t really remember, but I had several people tell me this and Wonder Woman were signaling DC finally coming into their own. I don’t know what the hell movie they were watching but I personally felt that Aquaman was hot garbage.

How many times did something explode into people interrupting a moment? Like four times! How many times did a guitar riff play when Aquaman said some one line? I think another four times, in like the first half hour. The CG hair was super distracting, especially on Dolph Lundgren. The movie was way too long. The plot boring and super, super predictable but not in a fun way. There was nothing fun about this movie.

Maybe if you’re a huge Aquaman fan you enjoyed how close to the comics the villains costumes supposedly were. I’ve never read an Aquaman comic so I couldn’t take Manta Ray seriously. And every time they said Ocean Master I snorted.

I just…I can’t with DC. After watching Captain Marvel and Into the Spiderverse it’s like they aren’t anywhere in the same league and I can’t help but compare them. Marvel has had a plan since day one and it freaking shows. The DC universe makes the X-Men universe look simple. I just don’t know what the fuck was going on in the greater world and universe and honestly I don’t care.

I wasn’t invested in any of the relationships in this movie which made the over two hour movie drag into eternity. There was no chemistry between any of the actors, though Nicole Kidman, god love her, tried. I just couldn’t with anyone here and have no idea what the fuck people were raving about with this movie.

1/5

Justice League (2017)

The Superman we Deserve

Justice League (2017)

Director:

Zack Snyder

Starring:

Ben Affleck

Gal Gadot

Jason Momoa

Amy Adams

Ezra Miller

Ray Fisher

Henry Cavill

Plot:

Fueled by his restored faith in humanity and inspired by Superman’s selfless act, Bruce Wayne enlists the help of his newfound ally, Diana Prince, to face an even greater enemy.

Review:

I watched this movie for the scenes with Superman, Henry Cavill, and his mustache. I had no hopes for this, I knew it was going to be crap from the minute I heard about it. DC completely screwed up the execution of this entire franchise. I have no hope of seeing a good Superman movie in my lifetime. At least Wonder Woman, Gal Godot, wasn’t awful, though in JL it seemed like they made the boobs of her costume bigger which was stupid.

The Flash, Ezra Miller, had a horrible costume, wasn’t a fan of the actor either. Cyborg, Ray Fisher, wasn’t a complete emo idiot, so that was nice, but the CG was just god awful and he’s mainly CG so…

Ben Affleck as Batman is just, ugh. I’m sorry but he is not that buff, I know he isn’t, so the suit just seems like a giant rubber unwieldy thing and I can’t believe him kicking butt in it. At least Aquaman, Jason Momoa, looks amazing. His lines are fucking stupid, but he’s hot and believable kicking ass.

Story was stupid. CG was half a step up from SyFy. Dialogue was so bad it wasn’t even funny. Movie sucked.

1/5