movie review

The Equalizer (2014)

The Equalizer

The Equalizer (2014)

Director:

Antoine Fuqua

Starring:

Denzel Washington

Marton Csokas

Chloë Grace Moretz

Plot:

A man believes he has put his mysterious past behind him and has dedicated himself to beginning a new, quiet life. But when he meets a young girl under the control of ultra-violent Russian gangsters, he can’t stand idly by – he has to help her.

Review:

Really slow start. I get that we’re supposed to know he gave up “that life” but John Wick did too and he’d killed a bunch of dudes by the time Denzel gets around to it.

When the action finally did start it was poorly shot. You couldn’t see clearly what was happening and the images you could see were purely for shock value. The image of the corkscrew in that dude’s mouth was just stupid and sad.

This movie was so slow and boring, way too many non-action parts. It really had so much potential, and it just fucked it all away.

The shots where he “flashes” on important details before going into action were annoying and did not make me think the character was more of a bad ass. He also goes around killing all these people and doesn’t seem to care at all about finger prints and it seems like the kind of world that cares about those things.

I had the hardest time in finishing this movie and really wished I hadn’t wasted my time. The only reason I’m not giving it a one star is because I like Denzel Washington and I didn’t completely hate it, I just really hated it.

1.75/5

 

This is Where I Leave You (2014)

This is Where I Leave You

This is Where I Leave You (2014)

Director:

Shawn Levy

Starring:

Jason Bateman

Tina Fey

Jane Fonda

Adam Driver

Rose Byrne

Corey Stoll

Kathryn Hahn

Plot:

When their father passes away, four grown siblings are forced to return to their childhood home and live under the same roof together for a week, along with their over-sharing mother and an assortment of spouses, exes and might-have-beens.

Review:

I was a little afraid that I was going to hate this movie, but the trailer was funny enough that I decided to give it a try. The problem I have with dark comedies is when they become hopeless lets all commit suicide comedies. Thankfully this movie was not that way.

There were plenty of thoughtful moments, and each of the actors had their chance to be sad and unfunny, but it was an ensemble cast of comedians and, thank god, they were also funny.

I laughed out loud a few times, I cried, and I got a vague, kind of happy, who knows, ending. This is what I look for, and enjoy, with dark comedies. None of that August: Osage County bullshit.

The family was messed up, none of them were perfect, they fought, they didn’t necessarily enjoy being around one another, but they loved each other. They weren’t fucked up individuals with no redeeming qualities (August: Osage County really screwed me up apparently).

3.75/5

The Skeleton Twins (2014)

THE-SKELETON-TWINS-r3-1-1-2.JPG

The Skeleton Twins (2014)

Director:

Craig Johnson

Starring:

Kristen Wiig

Bill Hader

Luke Wilson

Plot:

Having both coincidentally cheated death on the same day, estranged twins reunite with the possibility of mending their relationship.

Review:

I don’t know why I try and watch these movies. I knew going in it was going to be one of those depressing “real life” indie movies, but I wanted to watch it anyway. Some review somewhere said it had a lot of dark comedy and that’s all it took.

It was by no means as horrible as August: Osage County, it just wasn’t my cup of tea. There were funny moments and it was definitely a darker humor, but they were minor blips in a film about suicidal twins with self-destructive tendencies.

It wasn’t my kind of movie but it wasn’t a bad one. It ended on a hopeful note which was nice. Everything had burned down around them, basically, but they were finally learning some coping skills.

3/5

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

Director:

Jonathan Liebesman

Starring:

Megan Fox

Will Arnett

William Fichtner

Alan Ritchson

Noel Fisher

Pete Ploszek

Jeremy Howard

Plot:

When a kingpin threatens New York City, a group of mutated turtle warriors must emerge from the shadows to protect their home.

Review:

I do not have the nostalgia attached to the teenage mutant ninja turtles that my husband does. So while he never had a desire to see this movie I was curious.

I do not like the turtles voices and thought they were pretty god awful looking. How do each of them have different accents? Who in production looked at them and thought, “Yeah that looks good.”

Maybe I had more nostalgia attached to them than I thought?

I liked no aspect of this movie. From the turtles, CGI, story, acting, and directing, it did nothing for me and I pretty much hated it.

Also, this should really be re-titled the April O’Neal story since it spent most of the time on her.

1/5

 

In all honesty, I did not watch the last twenty minutes. I couldn’t, I lost all interest, and just didn’t want to waste my time.

Belle (2013)

Belle

Belle (2013)

Director:

Amma Asante

Starring:

Gugu Mbatha-Raw

Matthew Goode

Emily Watson

Plot:

The mixed race daughter of a Royal Navy Admiral is raised by her aristocratic great-uncle in 18th century England.

Review:

There’s really not much, more romantic than 18th century England. Love the clothing and the decor. It’s all so pretty and Belle has an original twist.

Dido, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, is a mixed race daughter being raised by her great-uncle who is the highest court in the land. I know next to nothing about slavery in England and the way the aristocracy acts is confusing and unnatural to me. However, I still love to watch movies set in this era and read the occasional historical romance.

I enjoyed the romance combined with the uncertainty surrounding the case being tried. The movie is not historically accurate, so says wikipedia, but I wasn’t expecting it to be. It was a nice way to end my romance movie month and I would definitely recommend it.

4/5