Review

Aquaman (2018)

Aquaman

Aquaman (2018)

Director:

James Wan

Starring:

Jason Momoa

Amber Heard

Nicole Kidman

Dolph Lundgren

Plot:

Arthur Curry, the human-born heir to the underwater kingdom of Atlantis, goes on a quest to prevent a war between the worlds of ocean and land.

Review:

I went in with no expectations for this movie. I’d only watched one trailer, that I didn’t really remember, but I had several people tell me this and Wonder Woman were signaling DC finally coming into their own. I don’t know what the hell movie they were watching but I personally felt that Aquaman was hot garbage.

How many times did something explode into people interrupting a moment? Like four times! How many times did a guitar riff play when Aquaman said some one line? I think another four times, in like the first half hour. The CG hair was super distracting, especially on Dolph Lundgren. The movie was way too long. The plot boring and super, super predictable but not in a fun way. There was nothing fun about this movie.

Maybe if you’re a huge Aquaman fan you enjoyed how close to the comics the villains costumes supposedly were. I’ve never read an Aquaman comic so I couldn’t take Manta Ray seriously. And every time they said Ocean Master I snorted.

I just…I can’t with DC. After watching Captain Marvel and Into the Spiderverse it’s like they aren’t anywhere in the same league and I can’t help but compare them. Marvel has had a plan since day one and it freaking shows. The DC universe makes the X-Men universe look simple. I just don’t know what the fuck was going on in the greater world and universe and honestly I don’t care.

I wasn’t invested in any of the relationships in this movie which made the over two hour movie drag into eternity. There was no chemistry between any of the actors, though Nicole Kidman, god love her, tried. I just couldn’t with anyone here and have no idea what the fuck people were raving about with this movie.

1/5

Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991)

Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey

Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991)

Director:

Peter Hewitt

Starring:

Keanu Reeves

Alex Winter

William Sadler

Plot:

A tyrant from the future creates evil android doubles of Bill and Ted and sends them back to eliminate the originals.

Review:

Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure is still fairly fresh in my mind, but the movies are SO different I’m not sure you’d be that lost if you’d never seen the first.

Bill and Ted still have their princesses, they are still pretty stagnant in life, and their band is still what kicks off a future utopia.

Unknown to them evil robot doppelgangers have been sent back in time to stop them so that the future can be less excellent and much more serious and boring. What ensues is a seriously trippy bizarre trip through hell limbo with Death.

The ending is what you’d expect and shows the beginnings of their band. It’s funny and optimistic and sometimes exactly what you need.

BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER!

4/5

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)

Crimes of GRindelwald

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)

Director:

David Yates

Starring:

Eddie Redmayne

Katherine Waterston

Dan Fogler

Plot:

The second installment of the “Fantastic Beasts” series featuring the adventures of Magizoologist Newt Scamander.

Review:

I was…not really impressed by this. To be honest, I watched it a few weeks ago and I barely remember it. I remember being disappointed. My sister is a HUGE Harry Potter fan and really liked it, so maybe I was over hyped? I don’t know.

Newt was disappointing. Dumbledore was really disappointing. All the romance relationships were disappointing. Tina was the only person I don’t remember being disappointed in and I could have just forgotten something.

It was just…not what I was hoping for? Even though I wasn’t hoping for anything. I don’t know, it just wasn’t for me and not really anything I would recommend.

2/5

Throne of Glass

Throne of Glass

Throne of Glass (Throne of Glass #1) By: Sarah J. Maas

Plot:

Meet Celaena Sardothien.
Beautiful. Deadly. Destined for greatness.

In the dark, filthy salt mines of Endovier, an eighteen-year-old girl is serving a life sentence. She is a trained assassin, the best of her kind, but she made a fatal mistake: she got caught.

Young Captain Westfall offers her a deal: her freedom in return for one huge sacrifice. Celaena must represent the prince in a to-the-death tournament—fighting the most gifted thieves and assassins in the land. Live or die, Celaena will be free. Win or lose, she is about to discover her true destiny. But will her assassin’s heart be melted?

Review:

So I liked every other prequel book in this series, but the one right before this had a really great ending so I was excited to finally start the actual series. I either like Celaena or hate her, there isn’t much of an in-between. She is smart and capable, and the story shows it, but she is also a spoiled brat. Ugh, she is such a freaking diva.

Most of the prequel stuff was referenced, though, the man she’d loved was only mentioned in passing which was incredibly disappointing. Actually, the whole last novella and what happened was barely referenced and she didn’t exact revenge on anyone.

There are two other main characters, which end up creating a love triangle with Celaena. I hate love triangles, and even though the book ended with her saying that one of them didn’t stand a chance there was no real ending to the whole thing. I have a preferred partner, but he’s so obviously the best choice I doubt that will happen. I also find it a bit annoying that everyone seems to fall in love or hate with her.

I’m not sure if I’m going to continue with the series. Not just because of the love triangle, but because I’m honestly not sure if I’m going to enjoy what happens in this world. There is no clear indicator if good will eventually win and I need that indicator. I don’t feel like investing my time in a series that doesn’t give me a happy ending right now. I’m just not sure. Maybe I’ll go back to it when I’m in a more receptive mood.

3/5

Captain Marvel (2019)

Captain Marvel

Captain Marvel (2019)

Director:

Anna Boden

Ryan Fleck

Starring:

Brie Larson

Samuel L. Jackson

Ben Mendelson

Lashana Lynch

Plot:

Carol Danvers becomes one of the universe’s most powerful heroes when Earth is caught in the middle of a galactic war between two alien races.

Review:

So I have managed to see this movie twice in theaters, which is unheard of for me, now. I was not a huge fan of the Wonder Woman movie and ever since Black Panther I’ve been excited and scared for Captain Marvel. I hoped so much that it would be everything I wanted in a female superhero movie, but after years of disappointments I was afraid they wouldn’t be able to deliver. Oh boy did they deliver.

SPOILERS

Carol Danvers, Brie Larson, has her own sense of humor, which is a bit sarcastic and loveable annoying. She’s pushed the limits since she was a child, refusing to allow others to tell her she can’t do something, especially if it’s because of her gender. For most of the movie she is missing large chunks of her memory and because of that she has a moment of doubt unsure of who she is, but it doesn’t take much from her best friend to remind her. Even under the control of the Cree who she is shone through.

The fight scenes are always the scenes I’m most disappointed in with Marvel movies and sadly Captain Marvel wasn’t an exception. They were cut fast and shaky so it was hard to tell who was doing what, or just to see anything cool looking. It’s a common trend with the movies though so at this point I don’t expect anything else.

Nick Fury, Samuel L. Jackson, looked incredible. Based on quick math I estimate that Fury was around 51-54 at the time of the movie. I know that there was some CG done with him but it was so well done you could hardly tell. He was younger, and a bit more silly, but he was still very much the intelligent and quick thinking Nick Fury you expect.

Maria Rambeau, Lashana Lynch, was Carol’s best friend and the one that grounded her when she needed it. I was so glad that she had her own moment to shine and was not just a sidekick to Carol. Her daughter was precocious and the possible hints at Maria’s relationship with Carol were exciting.

Captain Marvel did not have a romance and I really appreciated that. I feel like there might have been a possibility with Maria, but since Captain Marvel has been missing for the last twenty-four years I’m not sure if that’s still viable in the current timeline. The main point of the movie was Carol becoming a superhero, answering questions about future plot points, and setting the stage for Endgame.

I know that more than a few people have complained that timeline wise they felt Captain Marvel should have been done at a different time that it slowed everything down, and to that I can’t roll my eyes hard enough. An incredibly common story telling technique is to take a step back, before the climactic conclusion, and do a flashback. Explain some things and maybe even introduce an element to the story that’s going to help in the final battle. It does slow things down, but it gives the viewer/reader a chance to breath. It answers questions that wouldn’t necessarily have been answered with the conclusion. It expands on character development. It gives everyone a small break from universal consequences.

We’re going to get Endgame very soon but I am beyond thrilled that we got Captain Marvel when we did. Finally, getting to see a female superhero movie done by Marvel was incredible and I am so excited for what’s to come.

4.5/5

 

HIGHER. FURTHER. FASTER.