Scorpion (2014-?)

scorpion

Scorpion (2014-?)

Network:

CBS

Starring:

Elyes Gabel

Katharine McPhee

Robert Patrick

Plot:

An eccentric genius forms an international network of super-geniuses to act as the last line of defense against the complicated threats of the modern world.

Review:

Is it possible for a pilot to jump the shark? If you know anything about the internet, computers, or just technology in general this show is not for you. My eyes nearly rolled out of their sockets and my husband laughed so hard there were tears in his eyes.

Setting aside the horrible story I also didn’t like the fact that the “pretty girl” was the stupid one. Well I’m sorry she’s not stupid, she’s the only one with common sense because the geniuses are too busy thinking deep thoughts. I wish the stupid one had been a dude, a single dad would have been just as good as a single mom, it also would have been kind of new. Instead the only other female on the show, so far, is an Asian chick because only Asian women can be smart. I also hate the fact that you can clearly see they’re going to try and get the lead genius to have a thing for the “pretty girl.”

I love a good show about geniuses. This was not a good show.

2/5

Warm Bodies (2013)

warm bodies

Warm Bodies (2013)

Director:

Jonathan Levine

Starring:

Nicholas Hoult

Teresa Palmer

John Malkovich

Plot:

After a highly unusual zombie saves a still-living girl from an attack, the two form a relationship that sets in motion events that might transform the entire lifeless world.

Review:

Romeo and Juliet Z edition. Also Nicholas Hoult looks like a young Tom Cruise.

The movie was ok, nothing really special. Though it was nice to see the story from the zombies perspective. I didn’t hate the music.

Honestly it was just sort of eh. Nothing remarkable, nothing really stood out. It was just another movie.

Maybe I watch too many?

3/5

Jinni’s Wish

jinniswish

Jinni’s Wish (Kingdom #4) By: Marie Hall

Plot:

A long, long time ago there lived a man. A Jinni, who had one wish. To know love. But the woman he thought he knew betrayed him and the love he thought they shared. Tortured for his crimes, he was cast out of Kingdom, stripped of all his powers, left to languor in pain and solitude, until eventually he becomes nothing but a ghost… Paz Lopez is an artist with a dream. To buy a ridiculously large penthouse in the swankiest section of Chicago. But there’s just one hitch, she has no man to share her dream with. A fateful visit to a carnival and Madam Pandora’s tent sends Paz on a mission to find the love of her life before it’s too late. But the Madam forgot to tell Paz one very important detail… to meet him, Paz will have to die first.

Review:

The plot sounds more dramatic that it came off in the story.

***Spoilers***

She doesn’t really die. She’s in a coma and while in the coma she meets Jinni and their souls connect.

There wasn’t much romance in this one it was more of a love at first sight sort of thing. He tells her the story of why he was punished and she listens and paints. Falling in love while the story is told. Not really my cup of tea.

Still I like the world that is being built and I will continue on to the next one.

3/5

The Single Moms Club (2014)

single moms club

The Single Moms Club (2014)

Director:

Tyler Perry

Starring:

Nia Long

Wendi McLendon

Amy Smart

Plot:

When five struggling single moms put aside their differences to form a support group, they find inspiration and laughter in their new sisterhood, and help each other overcome the obstacles that stand in their way.

Review:

“We need a man who knows how to pound. With tools.”

Wow that conversation was filled with so much sexual innuendo it was hilarious.

There were a few Spanish parts that I wish were subtitled, but I guess I should just learn Spanish, I got the general gist.

The part where one of the kids runs off and they all get emotional is a bit over the top. Everyone learns something about their kids, tempers are raised, and then they just give up and go home. Seriously? The mom with the missing kid just screams at them to all leave and they do. A couple of them get to make out with their new men, but they just leave their friend. What shitty friends. But wait, it’s ok, her man comes to keep her company. The man she’s dated a couple times. I mean, yeah, he’s Tyler Perry so you know he’ll take care of everything, but the whole point of the movie is single moms helping each other out. Then they bail. Wtf?

The movie wraps up with the moms talking to their kids and using all the info they learned from the other moms. The kids all seem older than they really are, dialog wise.

I’m not a single mom, but I have a ten month old and I can’t imagine how hard it is to be one. I don’t really think this movie portrayed all the difficulties involved, but it covered a lot of the varieties.

Love me some Terry Crews.

2.75/5

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

The Wolf of Wall Street

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

Director:

Martin Scorsese

Starring:

Leonardo DiCaprio

Jonah Hill

Margot Robbie

Kyle Chandler

Plot:

Based on the true story of Jordan Belfort, from his rise to a wealthy stock-broker living the high life to his fall involving crime, corruption and the federal government.

Review:

Holy shit this movie is depraved. Also, and I’m just going to come right out and say it, Leo’s butt is not that impressive. I know, I know, it’s hard to believe but it’s true.

Basically this movie shows you that if you commit a certain type of crime, no matter how fucked up, you can get three years in a country club and come out still on top.

It pays to be rich mother fucker.

Also, speaking from personal experience, the stock market is a lot more complicated then they make it seem. Of course, it’s like that with most jobs that Hollywood portrays.

Fuck. Fuckity. Fuck. Fuck. Cock sucker. Snorting coke off a hookers asshole. Titties. Bush. Ass. More titties. Fuck. Fuck. Shit Mother Fucker.

2/5